Best way to get past the 'being b0llocksed' problem

Dan Aitch

New member

May 31, 2013

2,287

• May 25, 2014

• #1

Some help please.

Go to bed early and forget I offered to meet her at the tube about 11pm?
Keep drinking and screw the consequences?
Pretend to be sober, witty and urbane?
Admit weakness and try not to vomit on her shoes?
Tell her it's her fault for working and leaving me no option but to feign interest in Orient?
Pass out now and hope for the best?

It's taken me about 15 minutes to proof read this and get rid of the typos. Apologies if I missed any.

 

Mowgli37

Enigmatic Asthmatic

Jan 13, 2013

6,371

Sheffield

• May 25, 2014

• #2

The third one, because that is everything you won't be to her in this situation

 

seagullsovergrimsby

#cpfctinpotclub

Aug 21, 2005

43,690

Crap Town

• May 25, 2014

• #3

Ring her up and tell her you have man flu.

 

dazzer6666

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Mar 27, 2013

52,399

Burgess Hill

• May 25, 2014

• #4

Order a taxi to meet her at the tube, and be asleep when she gets home

 

Max Paper

Sunshiinnnnneeee

Nov 3, 2009

5,784

Testicles

• May 25, 2014

• #5

Pass out now. Actually have a couple more first and make it worthwhile, worry about it later!

 

deletebeepbeepbeep

Well-known member

May 12, 2009

20,957

• May 25, 2014

• #6

seagullsovergrimsby said:

Ring her up and tell her you have man flu.

Click to expand...

If you have serious intentions on this girl IMO this is your only move and then hope she doesn't ditch you for being flaky.

Or drink at large cup of coffee and get 30 mins kip.

 

8ace

Banned

Jul 21, 2003

23,811

Brighton

• May 25, 2014

• #7

Keep drinking and screw the consequences.

 

Dan Aitch

New member

May 31, 2013

2,287

• May 25, 2014

• Thread starter
• #8

deletebeepbeepbeep said:

If you have serious intentions on this girl IMO this is your only move and then hope she doesn't ditch you for being flaky.

Or drink at large cup of coffee and get 30 mins kip.

Click to expand...

We've been married 18 months. She's 20+ years younger than me.

I adore her, but I'm bollocksed and likely to snore all night. Volunteering to sleep on the sofa is my best bet; that and not shitting myself.

 

seagullsovergrimsby

#cpfctinpotclub

Aug 21, 2005

43,690

Crap Town

• May 25, 2014

• #9

Dan Aitch said:

We've been married 18 months. She's 20+ years younger than me.

I adore her, but I'm bollocksed and likely to snore all night. Volunteering to sleep on the sofa is my best bet; that and not shitting myself.

Click to expand...

In that case you have 2 options either feign early onset dementia or fall asleep on the sofa before she eventually gets in about 1am.

 

Leighgull

New member

Dec 27, 2012

2,377

• May 25, 2014

• #10

Tell her you've had some bad news and start crying...then drink a bottle of brandy and run off into the night.

In the morning hope she's forgotten all about it?

 

Max Paper

Sunshiinnnnneeee

Nov 3, 2009

5,784

Testicles

• May 25, 2014

• #11

Dan Aitch said:

We've been married 18 months. She's 20+ years younger than me.

I adore her, but I'm bollocksed and likely to snore all night. Volunteering to sleep on the sofa is my best bet; that and not shitting myself.

Click to expand...

Are you divorced yet?

 

Dan Aitch

New member

May 31, 2013

2,287

• May 25, 2014

• Thread starter
• #12

No!

 

spongy

Well-known member

Aug 7, 2011

2,764

Burgess Hill

• May 25, 2014

• #13

I was in a similar situation earlier. Left the pregnant missus at home while I went up the pub for a "couple". Had 7 pints and left the others to it.

I was wankered when I got back. Couldn't sit down still without feeling dizzy as ****. Somehow I managed not to slur too badly, (I thnk it being in a much worse state on Thursday night that might have thrown her off the scent tonight).

30 minutes later a pizza came out of the oven, 2 episodes of season 6 of 24 later I felt well enough to crack on with the cider again.

She's now in bed and I'm ploughing on.

Or you could get a bit of sniff in you and you'll be good to go for the rest of the night....

 

fat old seagull

New member

Sep 8, 2005

5,239

Rural Ringmer

• May 26, 2014

• #14

Dan Aitch said:

Some help please.

Go to bed early and forget I offered to meet her at the tube about 11pm?
Keep drinking and screw the consequences?
Pretend to be sober, witty and urbane?
Admit weakness and try not to vomit on her shoes?
Tell her it's her fault for working and leaving me no option but to feign interest in Orient?
Pass out now and hope for the best?

It's taken me about 15 minutes to proof read this and get rid of the typos. Apologies if I missed any.

Click to expand...

Firstly (and most importantly) confirm that she is feeling frisky and 'up for it'. Tell her you have been experimenting with various medications for 'Medical Science', so when you meet her you will look completely different, but not to worry, everything is fine and you are looking for some 'hot action'. Also your memory might seem vague.
Now just go to bed and have a nice kip.
Where were you meeting her, and what's her name by the way ?

 

H

Husty

Mooderator

Oct 18, 2008

11,991

• May 26, 2014

• #15

Look at me everyone, I'm drunk!

 

ThePaddy

Active member

Aug 27, 2013

799

• May 26, 2014

• #16

Husty said:

Look at me everyone, I'm drunk!

Click to expand...

ur just jelos becos ur mum dont let u stay out

 

H

Husty

Mooderator

Oct 18, 2008

11,991

• May 26, 2014

• #17

ThePaddy said:

ur just jelos becos ur mum dont let u stay out

Click to expand...

Nah I'm jealous because I'm sat in a library at 1:20am. And have been for the last 3 weeks.

 

Triggaaar

Well-known member

Oct 24, 2005

50,171

Goldstone

• May 26, 2014

• #18

Husty said:

Nah I'm jealous because I'm sat in a library at 1:20am. And have been for the last 3 weeks.

Click to expand...

Can't you find the door?

 

Dan Aitch

New member

May 31, 2013

2,287

• May 26, 2014

• Thread starter
• #19

Look at me, I'm hungover!