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  1. #31
    Members Simster's Avatar
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    When working in Southampton many years ago, I used to sit opposite a fat middle aged bespectacled frumpy old bag who used to bring loads of food in with her. And orange juice. I really wish she didn't - she'd get through GALLONS of the stuff daily, and it used to make her burp constantly. She literally burped all day, it was disgusting.

    15 years ago I shared a department with an Asian gentleman who had massive hygiene issues. He once went to play squash with someone on the trading floor. When this chap realised he had forgotten his sports shirt, he played in his horrible frilly "white" (grimy) work shirt instead, then didn't bother showering after the 40 minute squash game, and finally returned to work wearing that very same shirt.

    The bloke next to at work right now is also f**king smelly, and the worst kind of armchair Liverpool "fan". Apparently though, his nephew supports Liverpool and Chelsea, so he bought him a half and half Liverpool-Chelsea scarf which his nephew LOVES. That sort of all round cockery is what I have to put up with on a daily basis, as well as his revolting body odour which wafts in my direction every morning when he so much as lifts his arm of his desk.
    Quote Originally Posted by Baldseagull View Post
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    Calderon is the type of guy that if your daughter married, you would worry that she was not good enough for him.

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    • #32

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      Quote Originally Posted by Bevendean Hillbilly View Post
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      nasty viscous slander
      Sounds like a sticky situation.
    • #33
      Surrounded by <div>s Grombleton's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by KZNSeagull View Post
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      I could not work out what he was saying and assumed that he must come from rural Scotland. It was not until the next morning that I found out he came from Guildford.
      Perhaps it was Ford Prefect and you didn't have your Babelfish?
    • #34
      I'll decide, thank you. foul old ron's Avatar
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      So glad I don't work in an office.
      "And that's it, Brighton have seized the day. Incredible drama here at the City Ground."
    • #35

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      there seems to be a running theme at the moment but im too scared to say what it is......
    • #36
      Returning video tapes Colossal Squid's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Iggle Piggle View Post
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      I'm not making this up.

      A random bloke has sat opposite me today in a hot desk area. His ring tone for his mobile phone is the one which is constantly going in 24 (Der der, der derrrrrrrr) and just a minute ago he answered the phone 'Hello CTU' (add an N and re-arrange the letters mate)
      Do you work in 2003?
    • #37
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      Quote Originally Posted by Grombleton View Post
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      The bloke I work with is a right prick.

      I'm self employed.

      haha, made me laugh, I have the same problem......
    • #38
      Members Bevendean Hillbilly's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by John Bumlick View Post
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      Congratulations to bevendean hillbilly. Very brave to come out on NSC.
      I needed all that bugle to get me through the day. There was also a Sales Manager (nicknamed the Buffet slayer or just "buffet" because of his morbid obesity who used to waddle in with his nylon shirts soaked in sweat and Drakkar Noir and start to massage the women's shoulders whilst making inappropriate suggestions, a chain smoking alcoholic Commercial Director who used to base his assessment of you as a man on whether or not you could neck six pints of Guiness at lunch and still present the finances and a Business Manager who, it turned ot, was shagging the three dopey tarts I worked with without the knowledge of each other because he was also married. That was fun when it all came out.

      My line manager got sacked for gross misconduct because he stood up in a team meeting and called the HR director a "mental ****" ( he was right though...she was) and a sales team who were either liars or retarded.

      This place still managed £12m clear profit every year.
      I've killed women and children. I've killed everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill Archer, for what you done to The Seagulls.
    • #39

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      Quote Originally Posted by Colossal Squid View Post
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      Do you work in 2003?
      When you look at some of our solutions we offer customers 2003 is about right
    • #40
      Members Bevendean Hillbilly's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Iggle Piggle View Post
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      When you look at some of our solutions we offer customers 2003 is about right
      We had a competition at work to come up with a new slogan. My suggestion

      "Yesterday's products...tomorrows prices"

      Didn't win.
      I've killed women and children. I've killed everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill Archer, for what you done to The Seagulls.

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