Joke Du Jour

S

SurreySeagulls

Well-known member

Jul 9, 2003

2,458

Guildford

• May 14, 2014

• #1

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave when I saw some grave diggers walking around with a coffin. 3 hours later they were still walking around with it. I thought to myself , these blokes have lost the plot!

 

Simster

"the man's an arse"

Jul 7, 2003

54,184

Surrey

• May 14, 2014

• #2

[yt]_fb33PrnxtA[/yt]

 

Prince Monolulu

Everything in Moderation

Oct 2, 2013

10,201

The Race Hill

• May 14, 2014

• #3

Shirley the diggers themselves would not be sauntering around carrying said receptacle. Their role is simpler, on the (w)hole.

 

grubbyhands

Well-known member

Dec 8, 2011

2,285

Godalming

• May 14, 2014

• #4

i DON'T THINK GRAVE DIGGERS CARRY COFFINS, BEARERS OR MOURNERS DO.

 

El Sid

Well-known member

May 10, 2012

3,806

West Sussex

• May 14, 2014

• #5

Why were grave diggers carrying a coffin?
WTF were you doing there for 3 hours?

 

Eggmundo

U & I R listening to KAOS

Jul 8, 2003

3,466

• May 14, 2014

• #6

What happened in the end?

 

Frutos

.

Helpful Moderator

NSC Patron

May 3, 2006

35,548

Northumberland

• May 14, 2014

• #7

[yt]mal_A4Op6mE[/yt]

 

S

SurreySeagulls

Well-known member

Jul 9, 2003

2,458

Guildford

• May 14, 2014

• Thread starter
• #8

I got dead bored and I left

 

Puppet Master

non sequitur

Aug 14, 2012

4,055

• May 14, 2014

• #9

I find that hard to believe in this day and age. They'd have a map, probably an e-map on their smartphones. Please don't lie to us.

 

Dan The Man

Active member

Sep 27, 2011

301

Mile Oak

• May 14, 2014

• #10

this joke needs burying...

 

Comedy Steve

We're f'ing brilliant

Oct 20, 2003

1,485

BN6

• May 14, 2014

• #11

Can't get inter this

 

F

Fungus

Well-known member

NSC Patron

May 21, 2004

7,046

Truro

• May 14, 2014

• #12

It's always the same - you spot an empty grave, and some bugger nips in before you get there.

 

The Stout Yeoman

Master Farter

Aug 14, 2003

916

59 Le Petomane Boulevard

• May 14, 2014

• #13

 

S

Sussex on Leith

New member

Sep 11, 2003

963

Leith

• May 14, 2014

• #14

Where to start with this?

As others have observed, grave diggers and pall bearers are highly unlikely to be the same individuals. Irrespective of this, if the coffin contained a person of average weight, they'd find it nigh on impossible to carry it for three hours without a break. Surely they'd have found a discreet spot to lay the coffin down before continuing their search, unencumbered, for the correct plot.

The whole "lost plot" premise strikes me as a little improbable. I'd bet that the large majority of cemeteries maintain scrupulous records of burial locations. This is essential for success in a line of work that, by definition, depends on attention to detail and respect for the feelings of all concerned. Word of such a Chuckle Brothers-esque performance would quickly spread, leaving the funeral directors in severe danger of going out of business. Indeed, I'm surprised that this story hasn't appeared in a heart-rending front page piece in a local newspaper before now.

Finally, you note that you were at a cemetery rather than a graveyard. Would they not then have been interring a small and easily portable urn, not an enormous coffin? Or did this cemetery offer a range of funeral options? It would help a lot if you made that clear.

Otherwise, quite funny. 5/10.

 

Pevenseagull

Anti-greed coalition

Jul 20, 2003

19,612

• May 14, 2014

• #15

Without wanting to be callous, 3 hours to lay flowers on a grave suggests that you were in a heightened emotional state. With deep sympathy may I respectfully suggest that your judgement may have been slightly impaired.

Once again, my sincere condolences.

 

S

Shropshire Seagull

Well-known member

Nov 5, 2004

8,496

Telford

• May 14, 2014

• #16

but its not like anybody died ......

Oh!

 

father_and_son

Well-known member

Jan 23, 2012

4,646

Under the Police Box

• May 14, 2014

• #17

I think you'll find Union rules are quite clear on this and there must be 4 men per grave-digging team...

I hereby call on all members of the National Union of Grave Diggers and Pall Bearers to join me in picking this joke as being part of management's underhand ploy to show 3 as a "normal and acceptable" number of grave diggers when we know this isn't the case!

Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!

 

drew

Drew

Oct 3, 2006

23,048

Burgess Hill

• May 14, 2014

• #18

There is no mention by the OP that the coffin had a body in so it could just be used so they get the dimensions of the grave correct. Can you imagine their professional embarrassment if the grave wasn't long enough!