Saturday: we need a volunteer

Bozza

You can change this

Helpful Moderator

Jul 4, 2003

55,719

Back in Sussex

• Apr 30, 2014

• #1

Should it all go horribly wrong, or simply go as expected, then we need someone to volunteer to do the following:

- Wear something slightly comedic or that otherwise stands out
- Look completely distraught when it looks for certain that we will be out of the play-offs (optional: crying)
- Stay behind in the stand when most others have gone. (required: sit away from anyone else left so a camera focused on you makes it appear as though you're the last one left)
- Stare around the stadium looking completely lost (optional: crying)
- Generally act as if the very worst thing that could happen to you, has just happened to you
- Be the focus of jokes from opposing supporters, notably from Palace, who will use your image to poke fun at the Albion for the foreseeable future

It's a tough gig for sure, but someone has to do it.

Anyone?

 

WildWood

Well-known member

Sep 6, 2011

798

Chichester

• Apr 30, 2014

• #2

Will the volunteer need a girlfriend that try's the comforting arm round the shoulder but clearly doesn't understand the enormity of the situation?

 

Badger

NOT the Honey Badger

NSC Patron

May 8, 2007

12,778

Toronto

• Apr 30, 2014

• #3

You say the crying is optional but I think it will be a very HALF-ARSED effort if they don't shed any tears.

 

Bozza

You can change this

Helpful Moderator

Jul 4, 2003

55,719

Back in Sussex

• Apr 30, 2014

• Thread starter
• #4

WildWood said:

Will the volunteer need a girlfriend that try's the comforting arm round the shoulder but clearly doesn't understand the enormity of the situation?

Click to expand...

Either that, or be with a kid who is even more distraught than the 'parent'. I say 'parent' because borrowing a child for this purpose is acceptable if you don't have your own.

If you do go down the kid route though, they do HAVE to cry. Lots. Ideally with face paint on.

 

El Presidente

The ONLY Gay in Brighton

Helpful Moderator

Jul 5, 2003

39,705

Pattknull med Haksprut

• Apr 30, 2014

• #5

Time to dust off the "only gay in Brighton" outfit perhaps?

 

C

Country Seagull

Active member

Jan 11, 2013

227

• Apr 30, 2014

• #6

Something like this?

 

Bozza

You can change this

Helpful Moderator

Jul 4, 2003

55,719

Back in Sussex

• Apr 30, 2014

• Thread starter
• #7

Country Seagull said:

Something like this?

View attachment 53249

Click to expand...

Edit your post and attach again - it will work 2nd time. (I'll fix this, honest)

 

S

stss30

Registered User

Apr 24, 2008

9,545

• Apr 30, 2014

• #8

Just to give you a benchmark, here is last year's effort.

 

Titanic

Super Moderator

Helpful Moderator

Jul 5, 2003

39,067

West Sussex

• Apr 30, 2014

• #9

 

Last edited: Apr 30, 2014

red star portslade

New member

Jul 8, 2012

1,882

Hove innit

• Apr 30, 2014

• #10

Surely, invading the pitch and attacking the Forest fans is a more dignified way to deal with the disappointment.

 

The Large One

Who's Next?

Jul 7, 2003

52,343

97.2FM

• Apr 30, 2014

• #11

Looks like we're going to need to smuggle in a chopped onion.

 

Bozza

You can change this

Helpful Moderator

Jul 4, 2003

55,719

Back in Sussex

• Apr 30, 2014

• Thread starter
• #12

stss30 said:

Just to give you a benchmark, here is last year's effort.

View attachment 53252

Click to expand...

Heston Blumenthal?

 

SouthCoastOwl

New member

May 23, 2013

1,719

Vaux Sur Seine

• Apr 30, 2014

• #13

Badger said:

You say the crying is optional but I think it will be a very HALF-ARSED effort if they don't shed any tears.

Click to expand...

Agree, blubbing should be compulsory. The successful applicant should also be able to blow snot bubbles whilst their body is wracked with heaving great sobs! It's also particularly endearing if you could be accompanied by a small child (preferably blonde) bawling it's eyes out and looking confused.

 

Albion_Dave

Well-known member

Jul 4, 2011

2,108

Eastbourne

• Apr 30, 2014

• #14

I will probably be doing the "Looking Pissed" look.

 

Brightonfan1983

Tiny member

Jul 5, 2003

4,807

UK

• Apr 30, 2014

• #15

Bozza said:

Either that, or be with a kid who is even more distraught than the 'parent'. I say 'parent' because borrowing a child for this purpose is acceptable if you don't have your own.

If you do go down the kid route though, they do HAVE to cry. Lots. Ideally with face paint on.

Click to expand...

I tried to get into Selhurst a few years ago to see us vs Wimbledon, no ticket but thought I'd try on the gate. Also in a little queue of 5 or 6 was a dad with a kid - "keep crying mate" he whispered, "we'll get in."

None of us did.

 

Paul Reids Sock

Well-known member

Nov 3, 2004

4,458

Paul Reids boot

• Apr 30, 2014

• #16

It fine, I have a Reading supporting mate. I will pass these requirements on to him seeing as he will be at the Madejski on Saturday

 

T soprano

New member

Oct 27, 2011

8,018

Posh end of Shoreham

• Apr 30, 2014

• #17

Is this the sort of thing you're looking for, just practising my disappointed look at the Amex shop earlier

 

Bwian

Kiss my (_!_)

Jul 14, 2003

15,898

• Apr 30, 2014

• #18

Is Safeway going to the game? He did such a great job in Cardiff, both on TV and at The Millennium stadium - and that when we were winning. He is the leading candidate.

 

Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash

Jul 6, 2003

70,151

• Apr 30, 2014

• #19

T soprano said:

View attachment 53253

Is this the sort of thing you're looking for, just practising my disappointed look at the Amex shop earlier

Click to expand...

Did they announce the official attendance in the club shop as 27,392?

 

E

essbee

New member

Jan 5, 2005

3,656

• Apr 30, 2014

• #20

Bozza said:

Should it all go horribly wrong, or simply go as expected, then we need someone to volunteer to do the following:

- Wear something slightly comedic or that otherwise stands out
- Look completely distraught when it looks for certain that we will be out of the play-offs (optional: crying)
- Stay behind in the stand when most others have gone. (required: sit away from anyone else left so a camera focused on you makes it appear as though you're the last one left)
- Stare around the stadium looking completely lost (optional: crying)
- Generally act as if the very worst thing that could happen to you, has just happened to you
- Be the focus of jokes from opposing supporters, notably from Palace, who will use your image to poke fun at the Albion for the foreseeable future

It's a tough gig for sure, but someone has to do it.

Anyone?

Click to expand...

Bozza - you have never been funnier, which is a shame.