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Funny Football Quotes







vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
27,867
I remember one of Big Ron's best quotes was about a player who had just been flattened in a challenge and the Physio said he would have to come off as he did not know who he was..... Ron said something along the lines of... " Well tell him he's Pele and get him back on the pitch !"
 


Gullflyinghigh

Registered User
Apr 23, 2012
4,279
Reporter; 'Gordon, can we have a quick word please?'
Gordon Strachan; 'Velocity'

One of my all time favourites.
 


Frutos

.
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
May 3, 2006
35,493
Northumberland
Ron Atkinson: I never comment on referees and I'm certainly not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.
 




Bedsex

not my real name
Jan 29, 2009
1,855
Flitwick
Journalist to Steven Gerrard: "What's your favourite type of cheese?"
Stevie G: "Melted I suppose"
 


surrey jim

Not in Surrey
Aug 2, 2005
18,085
Bevendean
Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."
 


glasfryn

cleaning up cat sick
Nov 29, 2005
20,261
somewhere in Eastbourne
quite a famous MU manager went behind the goal and a row started with the ref who threatened him with a card
manager says "hey ref can you send me off for what I think then"
ref indicates no he cannot
manager says "then I think you are a ****"
 




Iamapen15

New member
May 17, 2009
1,285
Back of the North Stand
Both of mine involve Carlton Palmer!

"Carlton Palmer can trap the ball further than I can kick it" - Ron Atkinson

The second I thought was Strachen but I'm told it was Dave Jones.. .. .. SKY REPORTER: "We reckon Carlton covers every blade of grass tonight": STRACHEN/JONES "That doesn't surprise me with a first touch like his"
 


Durlston

"Garlic bread!?"
NSC Patreon
Jul 15, 2009
9,762
Haywards Heath
"Out of nine red cards this season we probably deserved half of them." Arsene Wenger.

"The first 90 minutes are the most important." Sir Bobby Robson.

What I said to them at half-time would be unprintable on the radio." Gerry Francis.

"Rome wasn't built in a day but I wasn't on that particular job." Brian Clough.

"No-one hands you cups on a plate." Terry McDermott.
 






Durlston

"Garlic bread!?"
NSC Patreon
Jul 15, 2009
9,762
Haywards Heath
"I always admired my dad. He was like a father-figure to me." Mike Bassett.

"Oh, it's just a Pina Colada."Mike Bassett interviewed by the pool relaxing.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, next game England will be playing four-four f*ck*ng-two!" Mike Bassett's press conference.
 


Fountainhead

Active member
Jan 31, 2011
286
Herts
When Gordon Strachan's phone went off in the middle of the post match press conference he said 'sorry about that, its the Samaritans, they always phone me at this time on a Saturday night'

And Franz Beckenbauer once commented after his side had put on an awful display 'you could put all of my players in a sack and punch it- and whoever you hit would deserve it'
 


surrey jim

Not in Surrey
Aug 2, 2005
18,085
Bevendean
"I always admired my dad. He was like a father-figure to me." Mike Bassett.

"Oh, it's just a Pina Colada."Mike Bassett interviewed by the pool relaxing.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, next game England will be playing four-four f*ck*ng-two!" Mike Bassett's press conference.

Do you see benson and hedges on here atall?

*said pointing to a pack of B&H which has the team selection written on the back
 




Jam The Man

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
8,110
South East North Lancing
Funny stuff.
Though the Ian Rush one is a myth. Dalglish started the tumour that Rush said it as a wind up.
 


Grombleton

Surrounded by <div>s
Dec 31, 2011
7,356
The one thing i've noticed, is Gordon Strachan is quite a witty bloke.
 


Ken Livingstone Seagull

Well-known member
Aug 29, 2003
505
Maui, Hawaii
From the mid 90s sometime, Motson commentary on a West Ham game (vs. Man U?) as they conceded a blinder:

"If the West Ham defense wasn't sleeping, they were certainly slumbering".

Shades of the infamous Yankee, Yogi Berra, and "It's Deja Vu all over again."
 



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