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Major crime reported in the Argus









Grombleton

Surrounded by <div>s
Dec 31, 2011
7,356
That's terrific.
 














Everest

Me
Jul 5, 2003
20,741
Southwick
When will someone think of the cats?
 




Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Jul 23, 2003
33,818
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Wood you believe it? Anna has surpassed herself there. Surely this is the sort of story she can sub contract to new crack hack Timber Hodges.
 












Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Jul 23, 2003
33,818
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
"Hello is that the Argus' crack crime reporter Anna Roberts?"

"No I'm sorry this is her secretary, hove born and bred"

"Well could you fetch her? I've an important crime to report"

*hb&b spends five minutes searching but she's nowhere to be found. He returns to the phone and puts on a high voice*

"Anna Roberts speaking"

"Good. Now listen. Some jokers just put some wood in my cat flap. 1 Sillybugger Way, Bognor"

"I'll get right on it"

*CLICK*

Anna returns from Pret a Manger with a pole caught tuna baguette and an apple for Timmy.

"You'll never guess what Anna! Someone's got wood and they're stuffing it in to pussy holes without asking"

Anna jumps in the company smart car and arranges to meet the rape squad at Butlins. The rest is history...
 


Doc Lynam

I hate the Daily Mail
Jun 19, 2011
7,186
Story needs as many retweets as possible this sort of crime can't go unpunished.
 




Foul Play Rocks

Well-known member
Feb 23, 2013
5,178
Sounds like a job for special branch to me.
Sorry. I'll get my coat
 






Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patreon
May 8, 2007
12,749
Toronto
Have any of the nationals got on board yet? I wouldn't be surprised to see this SPLASHED across the front pages tomorrow morning.
 



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