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Strange goings on at Southampton







stripeyshark

All-Time Best Defence
Dec 20, 2011
2,294
Clearly a spoof. Someone's obviously fed up with players being linked with other clubs!
 


Titanic

Super Moderator
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,025
West Sussex
Those media sources have already reported that many members of the Saints squad have allegedly already agreed deals with top Premier Clubs in some cases with two even three clubs and this will impact on Saints ability to get out 11 players.
So far its been confirmed that Luke Shaw will be signing for both Manchester City and Chelsea and may also find time to turn out for Manchester United.
Adam Lallana has agreed a deal with Manchester United as well as Liverpool and Spurs, Callum Chambers will be leaving St Mary's to play for Spurs and Arsenal, Jay Rodriguez has already signed for Arsenal and expects to sign a similar deal for Liverpool in the coming weeks.
Morgan Schneiderlin will follow on his signing for Arsenal every summer for the past four years by again succumbing to Arsene Wenger's offer this year, whilst Victor Wanyama has not only signed for Manchester City but Liverpool and Newcastle as well.
Sam Gallagher is so far resisting most offers but it was confirmed in this morning's press he has agreed to sign for Chelsea to join Dejan Lovren on the days he isnt playing for Spurs
On a brighter note though Rickie Lambert is likely to return to just playing for Saints after leaving for Upton Park in the January window.
All in all though it will mean that Saints will struggle to field a side for next season if the press sign any more of our squad for the big 5 before August.
However its not all doom and gloom, on one hand the club will have plenty of money to invest in the 2014/15 increased ISA allowance and will also be able to upgrade the public address system that will be vital if we are to make up the numbers from appeals to the crowd next term.
Saints new Chairman Ralph Krueger if he had been asked would probably not have commented.
" It has been a tough first week for me in my new job, I arrived to find most of our squad have already signed for other clubs for next season, I appeal for our supporters not to panic and stay calm, in the meantime if any of them have any wheelbarrows we could use to take the cash up the bank then we as a club will be grateful"
Harking back to his recent comments on returning to the traditions of the club he said
" I believe back in the second world war that it was not uncommon for the club to have to appeal to the crowd for players to make up the numbers, it pleases me to announce that we will return to that tradition with effect from next season and urge all supporters to get to the ground early and bring their boots"
"I wish all the players leaving for Arsenal/Spurs/Liverpool/Man City/Man Utd (*delete as appropriate) the best and if anyone has got change of a £40 million pound note it would be helpful"
On a brighter note the club is to appear on the Antiques Roadshow on Sunday where Fiona Bruce will give a valuation on a set of spoons recently found at St Mary's which are believed to date back to 2009.

Ooops there go my sides.
 


beorhthelm

A. Virgo, Football Genius
Jul 21, 2003
35,265
:moo: doh. edit, edit.:D
 




skipper734

Registered ruffian
Aug 9, 2008
9,189
Curdridge
That sort of thing passes as humour down this way. :shrug:
 


Kumquat

New member
Mar 2, 2009
4,459
Must be frustrating for saints fans though. Spent years bringing the kids through with a great academy and as soon as they hit the big time they are off, but that's life. Reminds me of the Ed Byrne joke about how Liverpool named their airport after John Lennon because it was the first place he went when he got some money.
 


Mellotron

I've asked for soup
Jul 2, 2008
31,730
Brighton
Must be frustrating for saints fans though. Spent years bringing the kids through with a great academy and as soon as they hit the big time they are off, but that's life. Reminds me of the Ed Byrne joke about how Liverpool named their airport after John Lennon because it was the first place he went when he got some money.

So frustrating ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK. I'm sure they wish they had a shit academy and were a League One club. (Slightly over the top, sorry).
 


Kumquat

New member
Mar 2, 2009
4,459
So frustrating ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK. I'm sure they wish they had a shit academy and were a League One club. (Slightly over the top, sorry).

I'm sure the club are happy, but the fans must be frustrated. Most of those players are going to go and a good academy isn't what's making clubs like Man City and Chelsea successful. The irony is that to keep their place in mid-Premiership it's outside signings that Southampton will have to rely on.
 



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