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SIMMO SAYS

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2012
11,701
Incommunicado
On a quiet evening on NSC I share this with you:

After seven hours of tiling in Haywards Heath, Wrong Direction & I were having a pleasant drive back through Ditchling Village.
We were on our way to the AMEX so he could change his season ticket to the North Stand with the four other dipsticks that accompany me in the EAST UPPER.
This will ditch me in EAST UPPER for next season like a 'Billy no Mates'---ungrateful :tosser:

I digress.

We got through Ditchling - past the cross roads and well on our way towards the Beacon until a 'Lady' decided she wasn't going to let a White Van driver through and drove straight at us.
We had to either reverse five cars back or she could back up six foot.

I got out.

Immediately the passenger door opened and a white version of THE HULK got out:eek:

OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!THIS IS A LADY driving, he shouted at me in an American accent.
He then took off his coat and bundled it into his car.
He then confronted me SHOUTING ------------look at my neck---------look at my neck:ohmy:

He did have a BIG neck:)

The LADY then got out and told me I should consult the HIGHWAY CODE coz the cars were parked on my side of the road----CORRECT!
I pointed out she only had to wait ten seconds to let us through and she would have been on her way.

'LOOK AT MY NECK' butted in at this point and looked like he was UP FOR IT:moo:
I thought he was going to have a heart attack so told him to get back in the car.
THE OLD BIRD finally reversed back and I shouted to BIG NECK I loved his Canadian accent:dunce:
This seemed to upset him somewhat:mad:
I'M an AMERICAAAAAAAAAAN he shouted ???

Wrong Direction just laughed and eventually changed his ticket to THE NORTH STAND :drama:

WTF?
 

dougdeep

New member
May 9, 2004
37,732
SUNNY SEAFORD
So why didn't you give way?
 


BN9 BHA

DOCKERS
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 14, 2013
21,391
Newhaven
image.jpg
 

BN9 BHA

DOCKERS
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 14, 2013
21,391
Newhaven
Hello DEADLY doug-----I was committed and had nowhere to go
Have you driven through Ditchling?

I avoid Ditchling village I hate that crossroads, I had a ' disagreement' with someone there.
They weren't American or Canadian and didn't have a big neck though! :wink:
 




amexee

New member
Jun 19, 2011
979
haywards heath
That made me chuckle. Ditchling is a nightmare. Problem easily solved with a tub of yellow paint, but the locals prefer the pollution from hundreds of idling engines everyday!
 


El Sid

Well-known member
May 10, 2012
3,806
West Sussex
After seven hours of test driving OAP cars mother & I were having a pleasant drive back through Ditchling Village.
We were on our way to the old folks home so she could empty her bag.

We were well on our way down from the Beacon a short arsed yob decided he wasn't going to let a White haired old biddy through and drove straight at us.
He had to either reverse five cars back or she could back up six foot. Unfortunately she has a bad neck and can't look round.

I got out.

Immediately the white vans passenger door opened and a short version of Norman Wisdom got out

My Dear Fellow!!!!!!!!!!THIS IS A LADY driving, I shouted at him in a fake American accent.

He then peeled off his braces and bundled his bobble hat into his car.

He then confronted me SHOUTING ------------look at my guns---------look at my guns!

He did have his shirt sleeves rolled up a la Chaz and Dave but no guns

My Mother then got out and told him he I should consult the HIGHWAY CODE because the law of the land suggests the cars were parked on his side of the road----CORRECT!

He angrily pointed out she only had to wait ten seconds to let him through and she would have been on her way.

'LOOK AT MY GUNS' butted in at this point and looked like he was UP FOR IT. Up for what I am unsure.
I thought he was going to have a heart attack so told him to get back in the car.
My mother finally reversed back and I shouted to BIG GUNS, I loved you in "Trouble In Store"
This seemed to upset him somewhat
I'M A PLUMBER he shouted.
 

SIMMO SAYS

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2012
11,701
Incommunicado
After seven hours of test driving OAP cars mother & I were having a pleasant drive back through Ditchling Village.
We were on our way to the old folks home so she could empty her bag.

We were well on our way down from the Beacon a short arsed yob decided he wasn't going to let a White haired old biddy through and drove straight at us.
He had to either reverse five cars back or she could back up six foot. Unfortunately she has a bad neck and can't look round.

I got out.

Immediately the white vans passenger door opened and a short version of Norman Wisdom got out

My Dear Fellow!!!!!!!!!!THIS IS A LADY driving, I shouted at him in a fake American accent.

He then peeled off his braces and bundled his bobble hat into his car.

He then confronted me SHOUTING ------------look at my guns---------look at my guns!

He did have his shirt sleeves rolled up a la Chaz and Dave but no guns

My Mother then got out and told him he I should consult the HIGHWAY CODE because the law of the land suggests the cars were parked on his side of the road----CORRECT!

He angrily pointed out she only had to wait ten seconds to let him through and she would have been on her way.

'LOOK AT MY GUNS' butted in at this point and looked like he was UP FOR IT. Up for what I am unsure.
I thought he was going to have a heart attack so told him to get back in the car.
My mother finally reversed back and I shouted to BIG GUNS, I loved you in "Trouble In Store"
This seemed to upset him somewhat
I'M A PLUMBER he shouted.

I do love Norman Wisdom :laugh:
Especially when he played the NAZI General.
Thats my ERA :thumbsup:

Was that your mothers colostomy bag you were emptying:eek:

I'm six foot one but Wrong Direction is a midget :shrug:
 
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