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KLINGONS in trap TWO



Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 23, 2003
33,686
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Is there anything worse than preparing to SIT on the THRONE only to be confronted with the stuck on REMAINS of the previous occupants' BOTTY EXPLOSION? Like so many melted MALTESERS without the honeycomb. If I did this at HOME my wife would cut off my APPENDAGE with the garden shears and FEED it to the PARROT.

Do you young SINGLE men not know how to use a BOGBRUSH?
 

Giraffe

VERY part time moderator
Helpful Moderator
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Aug 8, 2005
26,421
poos should be done in the home and no where else. People that regularly do them in the workplace should be chastised. Very odd behaviour in my book.
 

Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
May 8, 2007
12,734
Toronto
poos should be done in the home and no where else. People that regularly do them in the workplace should be chastised. Very odd behaviour in my book.

You what? The mid-morning poo is one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the working day, I can spend a good 15-20 minutes curling a beast out. I'm not going to waste my own time, bog roll and water on it when I can make full use of the company's facilities.
 

The Stout Yeoman

Master Farter
Aug 14, 2003
916
59 Le Petomane Boulevard
Is there anything worse than preparing to SIT on the THRONE only to be confronted with the stuck on REMAINS of the previous occupants' BOTTY EXPLOSION? Like so many melted MALTESERS without the honeycomb. If I did this at HOME my wife would cut off my APPENDAGE with the garden shears and FEED it to the PARROT.

Do you young SINGLE men not know how to use a BOGBRUSH?

Yes .... discovering that somebody has pissed on the seat before you take up residence ....
 

Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
69,788
Then there's the weirdos in the next trap who seem to be disposing of an entire toilet roll like they've got shares in Andrex or something. They're there ripping sheets off when you come in and they're still at it when you leave. Scary stuff.
 


Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
May 8, 2007
12,734
Toronto
Then there's the weirdos in the next trap who seem to be disposing of an entire toilet roll like they've got shares in Andrex or something. They're there ripping sheets off when you come in and they're still at it when you leave. Scary stuff.

I thought it was just women who did that.
 

dougdeep

New member
May 9, 2004
37,732
SUNNY SEAFORD
People crap in their own time?
 


BBassic

I changed this.
Jul 28, 2011
12,200
Two things get on my nerves about the work place poo:

1) People who use too much bog roll and clog it up. These people must have been taking care of business for at least 16 years now so should know the correct amount of paper to use (three sheets, folded in half and then halved again FYI)

2) Not wiping if you splash on the seat. If I could find the git who keeps doing it I'd rub his face in it. Except I wouldn't, obviously. I'd write a passive aggressive note and leave it on his desk.
 

Fungus

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
May 21, 2004
7,033
Truro
Then there's the weirdos in the next trap who seem to be disposing of an entire toilet roll like they've got shares in Andrex or something. They're there ripping sheets off when you come in and they're still at it when you leave. Scary stuff.

Yeah, what IS that about? Are they nicking it to take home?

Last office I worked had a lot of problems with people "not leaving the toilets as they would wish to find them", and send round an email warning - with pictures! Amazing what some people got up to.
 

Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
May 8, 2007
12,734
Toronto
Flicking bogies on to the back of the cubicle door seems to be a pastime in my office.
 


Raleigh Chopper

New member
Sep 1, 2011
12,054
Plymouth
I am in compliance with your dilemma. I do not like to mess in any other place than my own khazi, it makes me very uncomfortable however if I really need to poo it has to be in the best possible surroundings so any remnants in the pan is a total put off. At least it was not a log that had turned the water the colour of over brewed tea.
Which reminds me, many years ago I visited the office toilets only to be confronted by a massive log in the pan, so big that each end was curled up the pan with the middle just touching the water. As it was the only trap I had to deal with it and there was a lack of a brush. 10 flushes later I managed to manoeuvre the beast into the water but it would not break up, I tried for ages but nothing would deal with it so I gave up.
I was later advised that the general manager had curled it down as others had visited but decided against it so most of the staff were now touching cloth, the GM was Irish so it must have been glued together with Guinness.
At lunch time we all rushed out the door and went to the nearest McDonalds and sorted it all out in there.
 


Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 23, 2003
33,686
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
I am in compliance with your dilemma. I do not like to mess in any other place than my own khazi, it makes me very uncomfortable however if I really need to poo it has to be in the best possible surroundings so any remnants in the pan is a total put off. At least it was not a log that had turned the water the colour of over brewed tea.
Which reminds me, many years ago I visited the office toilets only to be confronted by a massive log in the pan, so big that each end was curled up the pan with the middle just touching the water. As it was the only trap I had to deal with it and there was a lack of a brush. 10 flushes later I managed to manoeuvre the beast into the water but it would not break up, I tried for ages but nothing would deal with it so I gave up.
I was later advised that the general manager had curled it down as others had visited but decided against it so most of the staff were now touching cloth, the GM was Irish so it must have been glued together with Guinness.
At lunch time we all rushed out the door and went to the nearest McDonalds and sorted it all out in there.

I hope it was a McShit with Lies
 

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