Fans' funniest stories

Hello,
Ollie at FourFourTwo magazine here.

As part of our forthcoming Football League special issue, we're looking to publish a collection of the funniest fan stories from across the Football League this season and were wondering if any Brighton fans were able to help? Many of the stories will appear in the magazine.

The stories can be about anyone at your club – player, manager, chairman, club employee – or something you've witnessed inside or outside the ground this season, concerning the home or away fans. Or it could simply be something bizarre you've seen or a funny chant.

Here is an example of the kind of thing we're after.

Sign him up, sign him up
"Just as our game against Crewe was about to kick-off last week (I'm a Brentford fan), out of nowhere a Siberian Husky scampers across the pitch like something from a Winalot advert. As it frolics on the pitch, looking genuinely pleased with itself, some of the players attempt to usher it back into the stands. Not Crewe's No.9 Matthias Pogba, though. The hulking centre forward appears to yelp as the friendly canine trotts by him, much to the obvious delight of my fellow Bees. After serenading the eager mut - "sign him up, sign him up" - we turn our attention to Pogba. As well as barking at him every time he touches the ball, we chant: “Matthias Pogba, he’s scared of a dog!” Pogba's look of utter confusion only adds to the hilarity, as we go on to win 3-1."
Darren F, Brentford fan

If you are able to help, please email your story fftfans@gmail.com, or simply post here if you'd prefer.
Thanks for reading,
Ollie

no way ive got a chance of matching that corker. recoiling here down to the laughter so doubtful i'll be able to think of a good story now.






but honestly I don't have a story

442 Fans said:

Hello,
Ollie at FourFourTwo magazine here.

As part of our forthcoming Football League special issue, we're looking to publish a collection of the funniest fan stories from across the Football League this season and were wondering if any Brighton fans were able to help? Many of the stories will appear in the magazine.

The stories can be about anyone at your club – player, manager, chairman, club employee – or something you've witnessed inside or outside the ground this season, concerning the home or away fans. Or it could simply be something bizarre you've seen or a funny chant.

Here is an example of the kind of thing we're after.

Sign him up, sign him up
"Just as our game against Crewe was about to kick-off last week (I'm a Brentford fan), out of nowhere a Siberian Husky scampers across the pitch like something from a Winalot advert. As it frolics on the pitch, looking genuinely pleased with itself, some of the players attempt to usher it back into the stands. Not Crewe's No.9 Matthias Pogba, though. The hulking centre forward appears to yelp as the friendly canine trotts by him, much to the obvious delight of my fellow Bees. After serenading the eager mut - "sign him up, sign him up" - we turn our attention to Pogba. As well as barking at him every time he touches the ball, we chant: “Matthias Pogba, he’s scared of a dog!” Pogba's look of utter confusion only adds to the hilarity, as we go on to win 3-1."
Darren F, Brentford fan

If you are able to help, please email your story fftfans@gmail.com, or simply post here if you'd prefer.
Thanks for reading,
Ollie

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That's not funny. That's Cynophobic abuse.

I nicked named a group of guys who sit near me the Ashley Barnes fan club, he could do no right in their eyes, when AB was sold to Burnley my first thought was who will they pick on now. For the first couple of games they concentrated their moans on the ref and lino, however, at the next match it was obvious that they were less than impressed with our caption Gordon Greer and I couldn't stop laughing when they took a vote that he would take over from AB as the player they would pick on.
Loved it when a fan posted in NSC that a guy sitting next to them left at half time to avoid the rush.
Laughed when a guy posted on NSC that he thought the old fellas in front had died till they went for a piss at half time

Early '90's and self, wife, brother in law and sister in law are at Loftus Road in the Spring sunshine for the final game of the season, "battle of the inititials" Q.P.R. v W.B.A. Brother in law has some indeterminate family connection with QPR and at least the day gave the opportunity to hear "Albion" chanted loudly, albeit the wrong Albion.

Don't remember much about the game, think it was a tame goal less draw. After the game the fans celebrated the end of a successful season (I think in their context "success" meant "not relegated") by a good natured pitch invasion. Order was restored on the promise that their heroes would do a lap of honour if they vacated the pitch, this encouraged by several mounted police gently shepherding them stand - wards. One of the Mets. equine members, in its excitement, left a fine large and steaming deposit on the pitch.

Order restored and the QPR players emerged in their designer threads to bask in the adulation of their fans. 18000 or so people could guess what was probably going to happen next.

The players walked slowly round the pitch waving, clapping and smiling at their loyal fans. Everyone could see that one of the team was on a direct course for the "deposit". Would he see it in time, after all it was the size of a small island? Would one of his team mates, several of whom had also spotted the unfurling scenario, warn him (I think we all knew the answer to that one)? Closer, closer, squelch! A mass laugh by 18000 fans is worth hearing! Hopefully the "old wives tale" about treading in cack being lucky proved true for him.