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Which TV detective/ busy body would you least want on you're tail?



Doc Lynam

I hate the Daily Mail
Jun 19, 2011
7,186
Lets say hypertheticaly you've commited a crime of passion, its murder!

Which detective/ busy body would likely catch you and cause you the most greif?
For me it has to be Jessica Fletcher, don't trust the lady, sharp as a tack and a right nosey old sod i'd loose my rag the first time she questioned me!
 




Tricky Dicky

New member
Jul 27, 2004
13,558
Sunny Shoreham
Columbo, firstly if he smoked the cigar in my house he'd get it, and that soppy mutt of his.

This. He knows straight away whodunnit, and strings them out til he can prove it. I always think, though, that these days, most of his cases would get thrown out of court by any decent lawyer.
 


Meade's Ball

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,612
Hither (sometimes Thither)
David Caruso from CSI Miami. I'd know that on the fifth time he takes off his silvery shades to deliver a terribly hammy and slow-talking speech about how my kind never get away with anything in the long run, i'll be meeting my end thanks to a shard of my mother's cracked ming vase being found in the exhaust pipe of a car i'd loaned to the local vicar on one of his scones for the poor runs and this all confirming that the hair found on the shard was of the dog of mine that was proof that Perry the poodle was very much still alive and not dead as i'd claimed it to be and therefore my entire story unravelling and that i did indeed poison my mistress with a rare cabbage leaf that i'd known she was allergic to by sleeptime chattering.
I'd never want to see those merciless ginger eyes again.
 






Tricky Dicky

New member
Jul 27, 2004
13,558
Sunny Shoreham
Columbo would be easy to put off the scent. All his cases are solved by the murderer talking themselves into an arrest. If you keep your mouth shut Columbo can't get you.

I definitely think his opponents end to make the act far too complicated. Keep it simpler and they'd get away with it.
 


vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
27,869
Columbo is the guy who never gives up and always gets his man. In almost every episode, and you know its coming but still love it, is the moment when Columbo leaves the room and just hesitates and says along the lines of " Ah... er, just one more thing sir, and I know its probably nothing, but I was wondering why..... " absolute classic, failing that Morse will put the pieces together, although sometimes too late to save another victim.
 


Doc Lynam

I hate the Daily Mail
Jun 19, 2011
7,186
Taggart would be terrible mainly because it would mean i had to be living in Glasgow at the time!
 






Papa Lazarou

Living in a De Zerbi wonderland
Jul 7, 2003
18,840
Worthing
Luther - he kills people / lets them die.
 






skipper734

Registered ruffian
Aug 9, 2008
9,189
Curdridge
Death_in_Paradise_series_3___what_did_you_think_.jpg
Probably the one on the right. At least you'd be nice and warm and dry.
 








brakespear

Doctor Worm
Feb 24, 2009
12,326
Sleeping on the roof
Columbo is the guy who never gives up and always gets his man. In almost every episode, and you know its coming but still love it, is the moment when Columbo leaves the room and just hesitates and says along the lines of " Ah... er, just one more thing sir, and I know its probably nothing, but I was wondering why..... " absolute classic, failing that Morse will put the pieces together, although sometimes too late to save another victim.
Definitely Columbo, you'd be so tense waiting for that 'Oh, ah.....' that you'd probably give yourself up any way.
 


vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
27,869
Death_in_Paradise_series_3___what_did_you_think_.jpg
Probably the one on the right. At least you'd be nice and warm and dry.

Well, the one on the left is a moron who is usually bewildered with his dodgy or missing internet/wi-fi/ Yellow Pages/ Phone.
 


Kumquat

New member
Mar 2, 2009
4,459
Columbo without a doubt although when he finally got me, I believe we'd have mutual respect and he'd close by saying "that girl, she really wasn't your type".
 


Perfidious Albion

Well-known member
Oct 25, 2011
5,988
At the end of my tether
I used to watch the American series "The Shield". The bald stocky guy from that, known as "Vic" is the meanest hombre ever to wear the badge. He would think nothing of kicking the **** out of me to get a confession.
 




skipper734

Registered ruffian
Aug 9, 2008
9,189
Curdridge
Well, the one on the left is a moron who is usually bewildered with his dodgy or missing internet/wi-fi/ Yellow Pages/ Phone.

You missed that he is now a Detective in Paradise?
 


vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
27,869



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