AmexRuislip
Trainee Spy 🕵️♂️
Roses are red violets are blue,
I'm a schizophrenic,
and so am I.
I'm a schizophrenic,
and so am I.
Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
Beat the limerick
- Thread starter AmexRuislip
- Start date
Jack Straw
I look nothing like him!
Roses are red violets are blue,
I'm a surrealalist,
fish.
I'm a surrealalist,
fish.
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,221
There was an old girl from Devizes
Brought up at the local Assizes
For teaching young boys
Matrimonial joys
And offering blow jobs as prizes.
Brought up at the local Assizes
For teaching young boys
Matrimonial joys
And offering blow jobs as prizes.
supaseagull
Well-known member
Roses are green, violets are Yellow
I'm colour blind so stop taking the piss
I'm colour blind so stop taking the piss
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,221
There was a young woman from Yale
Who offered her body for sale
For the sake of the blind
She tattooed her behind
With a full range of prices in Braille.
Who offered her body for sale
For the sake of the blind
She tattooed her behind
With a full range of prices in Braille.
Diego Napier
Well-known member
- Mar 27, 2010
- 4,416
There was also a young girl from Devizes
Whose knockers were two different sizes
One so small
Hardly there at all
The other was huge and won prizes
Diego Napier
Well-known member
- Mar 27, 2010
- 4,416
or perhaps a bit closer to home Edna:
A policeman from near Clapham junction
Had a p*nis that just wouldn't function
For the whole of his life
He misled his poor wife
With some snot on the end of his truncheon
Prince Monolulu
Everything in Moderation
There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one"
She said, "Pardon my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one."
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one"
She said, "Pardon my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one."
Grombleton
Surrounded by <div>s
- Dec 31, 2011
- 7,356
There once was a man from Cosham,
Who took off his bollocks to wash them,
His wife said "Jack,
If you don't put them back,
I'll stamp on your bollocks and squash them".
Who took off his bollocks to wash them,
His wife said "Jack,
If you don't put them back,
I'll stamp on your bollocks and squash them".
Daffy Duck
Stop bloody moaning!
There once was a young man from Kent
Whose d**k was all twisted and bent
So to cause him less trouble, he bent it up double
And instead of coming, he went.
Whose d**k was all twisted and bent
So to cause him less trouble, he bent it up double
And instead of coming, he went.
- Aug 7, 2003
- 7,799
There once was a man from Leeds,
who swallowed a packet of seeds,
within half an hour,
his dick was a flower,
and his balls were all covered with weeds
who swallowed a packet of seeds,
within half an hour,
his dick was a flower,
and his balls were all covered with weeds
Hampden Park
Ex R.N.
- Oct 7, 2003
- 4,989
there was a young man from Australia
who painted his bum like a dahlia
a penny a look, is all he took
cause tuppence a smell was a failure
who painted his bum like a dahlia
a penny a look, is all he took
cause tuppence a smell was a failure
Hampden Park
Ex R.N.
- Oct 7, 2003
- 4,989
there was a young lady from eeling
who had a peculiar feeling
she laid on her back
opened her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling
who had a peculiar feeling
she laid on her back
opened her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling
I'm surprised Attila hasnt posted some of his limericks yet.
Cadiz Seagull
Grey bearded old man
One day, whilst mixing rose madder,
Titian's model ascended a ladder.
Her position, to Titian,
Suggested coition,
So he nipped up the ladder and 'ad 'er.
Titian's model ascended a ladder.
Her position, to Titian,
Suggested coition,
So he nipped up the ladder and 'ad 'er.
Gary Leeds
Well-known member
- May 5, 2008
- 1,526
There once was a hermit named Dave
Who Kept a dead whore in his cave
She was missing a tit
She smelled like shit
But think of the money he saved
There once was a man from Balan
Who thought stroking his penis was grand
Then he stared with distaste
At the gelatinous paste
That he found in the palm of his hand
There once was a woman from Purdue
Who had nothing better to do
So she sat on the stairs
Counted c**t hairs
Four thousand three hundred and two!
Who Kept a dead whore in his cave
She was missing a tit
She smelled like shit
But think of the money he saved
There once was a man from Balan
Who thought stroking his penis was grand
Then he stared with distaste
At the gelatinous paste
That he found in the palm of his hand
There once was a woman from Purdue
Who had nothing better to do
So she sat on the stairs
Counted c**t hairs
Four thousand three hundred and two!
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There was a young man from Dundee
Who got stung on the neck by a wasp
When asked 'did it hurt?'
he said 'no not much'
'It can do it again if it likes'
Who got stung on the neck by a wasp
When asked 'did it hurt?'
he said 'no not much'
'It can do it again if it likes'
seagullwedgee
Well-known member
- Aug 9, 2005
- 2,983
There was a young lady from Dallas
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits at the palace.
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits at the palace.
Blue Valkyrie
Not seen such Bravery!
There once was a man from Nantucket....
One for 'the other stuff' probably
One for 'the other stuff' probably