severnside gull admits to Blowing off in public

Brighton TID · Jan 17, 2014

Is it really necessary? On Tuesday I found myself browsing the 'screw' aisle in B&Q, Worthing. I was on my own checking out the galvanised 4 inchers when a 'fat' man with slightly gingering hair and a shining sweaty complexion entered the very same aisle to view the 'self tappers'. No problem I thought, each to their own, 'self tappers' are good in their own right, respect. Suddenly, ginger man leaves the aisle, leaving behind what can best be described as the smell of a hundred household dustbins full of rotting fish and old pork meat.

Then, the only good looking 'woman' in the whole shop, and possibly the whole of Worthing, ever, enters the aisle with me still coughing up under my breath, still chewing on fat boys innards.

Why do people fart in public? It's disgusting and unnecessary. Do not do it.
Thank you.

upthealbion1970 · Jan 17, 2014

My son and I play that game every year when we go Christmas shopping

Eksman · Jan 17, 2014

Lol blowing off

Prince Monolulu · Jan 17, 2014

driller · Jan 17, 2014

Brighton TID said:
Is it really necessary? On Tuesday I found myself browsing the 'screw' aisle in B&Q, Worthing. I was on my own checking out the galvanised 4 inchers when a 'fat' man with slightly gingering hair and a slighly sweaty complexion entered the very same aisle to view the 'self tappers'. No problem I thought, each to their own, 'self tappers' are good in their own right, respect. But then suddenly, ginger man leaves the aisle, leaving behind what can best be described as the smell of a hundred household dustbins full of rotting fish and old pork meat.

Then, the only good looking 'woman' in the whole shop, and possibly the whole of Worthing, ever, enters the aisle with me still coughing up under my breath, still chewing on fat boys innards.

Why do people fart in public? It's disgusting and unnecessary. Do not do it.
Thank you.

Was it tommy Fraser?

severnside gull · Jan 17, 2014

I can't help blowing off sorry......

If only we had mods with the gumption to change the thread title. :shrug:

bennibenj · Jan 17, 2014

In all seriousness - when in Tesco or some big shop, when the aisle is clear and you let one rip AND it smells horrendous, making swift movements away from the area but safe enough to see the reaction of the next few people to pass through that space without being identified as the culprit - who doesn't find that funny!!!

Human nature at its most natural.

Eat, Drink, Pee, Dump, Sleep, Sex, Burp and Fart - all very natural

desprateseagull · Jan 17, 2014

Shoot and move, shoot and move!

CheeseRolls · Jan 17, 2014

A few months back I was in said B&Q. Alone in an aisle, a silent one escaped, just in time for a husband and wife to walk around the corner. After a cartoon like pause the wife suddenly stops talking, thumps her husband and calls him a dirty *******. I kept my poker face on and drifted away. The sad thing is I am sitting here sniggering as I write this. So yes I totally disapprove of public farting, or at least I will do when I finally grow up.

El Sid · Jan 17, 2014

Brighton TID said:
Is it really necessary? On Tuesday I found myself browsing the 'screw' aisle in B&Q, Worthing. I was on my own checking out the galvanised 4 inchers when a 'fat' man with slightly gingering hair and a slighly sweaty complexion entered the very same aisle to view the 'self tappers'. No problem I thought, each to their own, 'self tappers' are good in their own right, respect. But then suddenly, ginger man leaves the aisle, leaving behind what can best be described as the smell of a hundred household dustbins full of rotting fish and old pork meat.

Then, the only good looking 'woman' in the whole shop, and possibly the whole of Worthing, ever, enters the aisle with me still coughing up under my breath, still chewing on fat boys innards.

Why do people fart in public? It's disgusting and unnecessary. Do not do it.
Thank you.

Apologies - I'd had the previous night's left over curry for breakfast with a fried egg on top washed down with a prune smoothie.
I shouldn't really have been in that aisle - I thought Self-Tappers was help yourself spainish type snacks.

symyjym · Jan 17, 2014

Brighton TID said:
Is it really necessary? On Tuesday I found myself browsing the 'screw' aisle in B&Q, Worthing. I was on my own checking out the galvanised 4 inchers when a 'fat' man with slightly gingering hair and a shining sweaty complexion entered the very same aisle to view the 'self tappers'. No problem I thought, each to their own, 'self tappers' are good in their own right, respect. Suddenly, ginger man leaves the aisle, leaving behind what can best be described as the smell of a hundred household dustbins full of rotting fish and old pork meat.

Then, the only good looking 'woman' in the whole shop, and possibly the whole of Worthing, ever, enters the aisle with me still coughing up under my breath, still chewing on fat boys innards.

Why do people fart in public? It's disgusting and unnecessary. Do not do it.
Thank you.

Have you got a problem with fat ginger people?

Brighton TID · Jan 17, 2014

El Sid said:
Apologies - I'd had the previous night's left over curry for breakfast with a fried egg on top washed down with a prune smoothie.
I shouldn't really have been in that aisle - I thought Self-Tappers was help yourself spainish type snacks.

You need to cut/wash and possibly dye your hair man

Norman Baker suck my lozenge · Jan 17, 2014

I love dropping my hat in public,there is no greater feeling than hearing a complete stranger shout" who the f@ck was that?"
With the constant intrusion of CCTV in public places it's one of the last acts of japery one can still enjoy without fear of being spotted by big brother.

Tom Hark Preston Park · Jan 17, 2014

Brighton TID said:
Is it really necessary? On Tuesday I found myself browsing the 'screw' aisle in B&Q, Worthing. I was on my own checking out the galvanised 4 inchers when a 'fat' man with slightly gingering hair and a shining sweaty complexion entered the very same aisle to view the 'self tappers'. No problem I thought, each to their own, 'self tappers' are good in their own right, respect. Suddenly, ginger man leaves the aisle, leaving behind what can best be described as the smell of a hundred household dustbins full of rotting fish and old pork meat.

Should have followed fat ginger man (from this day forth to be known as a 'Fraser') into the gardening aisle and asked if he wanted decking.

pastafarian · Jan 17, 2014

if done properly it can be art

Barrel of Fun · Jan 17, 2014

Blowing off caught on camera...

https://vine.co/v/hY2PPurVtxH

crodonilson · Jan 17, 2014

My other half suffers terribly with wind but she would never dream of doing it in public.

Brighton TID · Jan 17, 2014

symyjym said:
Have you got a problem with fat ginger people?

Yes, yes I do. Particularly those that like to share their rotting bowel air

Prince Monolulu · Jan 17, 2014

El Sid · Jan 17, 2014

Brighton TID said:
Yes, yes I do. Particularly those that like to share their rotting bowel air

Along with anal warts I have a problem with fatty hating gingerphobes who think their own farts don't stink.

Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

severnside gull admits to Blowing off in public

New member

bring on the trumpets....

Active member

Everything in Moderation

my life my word

Well-known member

Well-known member

New member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Banned

New member

New member

Will Post For Cash

Well-known member

Abort, retry, fail

He/Him

New member

Everything in Moderation

Well-known member

Share this page