Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

Jokes?



FamilyGuy

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
2,371
Crawley
'Can I book an appointment to have 25% of this design permanently inked onto my body?'

'Quarter tattoo?'

'Half past one would be better.' :dunce:



I've been fired from my job at the pasta factory after a fusilli mistakes.




An Aussie mate showed me his novelty Rolf Harris wig. I asked what it's made of. He said "tiny kangaroo down, sport!"
 


The Wookiee

Back From The Dead
Nov 10, 2003
14,825
Worthing
Told the mrs I've just started a new job down the bowling alley !

"Tenpin ? " she asked

"No permanent !! " I replied !!
 




EDS

Banned
Nov 11, 2012
2,040
I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?' I said [campily] 'Make your mind up.'
 






Thunder Bolt

Ordinary Supporter
remoteleyfunny.jpg
 


EDS

Banned
Nov 11, 2012
2,040
A Brighton fan walks past a shop and sees the video "Brighton - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop and asks how much. "£100" says the shopkeeper. "That's a bit steep, how come it's so dear??" "Well it's a tenner for the video and £90 for the Betamax recorder!!
 








raba

Member
Jun 9, 2013
129
My missus said she never **********s when she's on. She's a liar.

I came home from work early one day & caught her red-handed.
 


Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Apr 30, 2013
13,765
Herts
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings behind the bar and he says "Damn, I forgot to feed the dogs".
 




Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Apr 30, 2013
13,765
Herts
And one for NSC's grammar pedants:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.
 




Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Apr 30, 2013
13,765
Herts
Do I have to say " I don't know, what do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

If some other posters had asked, I'd have responded "whoosh". Since it's you, I'll simply respond :thumbsup:
 



















Paying the bills

Latest Discussions

Paying the bills

Paying the bills

Paying the bills

Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports


Top
Link Here