Courier Wars

CheeseRolls · Dec 19, 2013

Okay I have maybe half a dozen packages out for delivery today, so I reckon this is a good opportunity to start a thread about couriers. I think we have covered this before, but this is a fresh opportunity to let off some steam at the halfwits and highlight the good guys in the industry.

First off for me are Interlink Express who rang the doorbell 15 minutes ago with an Amazon delivery. Top work from them, although to be fair the depot is less than a quarter of a mile away, so I was either going to be first or last delivery of the day.

In the running today we have DPD, who I reckon are the top boys in this field. I reckon they will have two deliveries for me today, the first one due within the hour, according to an Email update and then a second to follow. The first package left the depot just after 5 this morning and the second was checked in around 7, hence I suspect two deliveries.

Next up we have UPS, who also have two packages, not sure when they will arrive or what to expect, but I reckon they will get the job done.

Outsiders are Hermes transport, with a pair of shoes for Mrs Rolls. These were supposed to have been signed for on Tuesday. I suspect these may be with a neighbour, who has forgotten to drop them around, but there is no card, so this is just guess work.

Not in the running are my personal terrible trio. Yodel, TNT and Parcelforce, all of which points to a positive outcome for the day.

CheeseRolls · Dec 19, 2013

Well I thought I might get a few takers for this pre-Christmas, but it looks like it is just me with a courier obsession.

DPD may be struggling under the Christmas load today, as they handed off the first delivery to Interlink Express. I only realised this, when I went to track my late delivery. Top marks then for putting the customer first, rather than delaying the delivery. Next up could be Royal Mail, with that Dominoes Pizza leaflet, I have been holding out for.

willyfantastic · Dec 19, 2013

I have had experience with UPS, Interlink and Citylink as we send out parcels daily

UPS get the job done 95% of the time. Although they have f***d up for us recently by not delivering to certain addresses because they can't find it (I sent out 2 packages to the same address in the same delivery, the driver delivered one, but couldnt find the other one - incredible) - they are also expensive - their tracking service is OK, they send out emails but thats about it - their customer service line is good

Interlink are very good, but they are finicky about multiple parcels and particular products - our delivery driver we used to have regularly when we used them was a really nice guy too - their local office in shoreham is really good (franchised i think), their national head office is shite - wont help you with anything

DPD are part of Interlink so I assume their service will be the same - they have a good parcel tracking service too

Citylink are an absolute f***ing nightmare - lose parcels, will deliver to anoybody standing outside the particular house if it means getting home earlier. Will throw a 5 ton weighted parcel on top of a parcel that says 'CAREFUL FRAGILE/LIQUID' etc then complain when it leaks - I'm pretty sure they will employ anybody even if they can't drive

The Andy Naylor Fan Club · Dec 19, 2013

I'm waiting for a delivery via Hermes today, A festive choccy hamper from Thorntons. Happy days. :clap:

burstead · Dec 19, 2013

when you order something and then find out its being delivered by hermes

when you order something and then find out its being delivered by DPD punk:

Gordon Bennett · Dec 19, 2013

I tend to find Hermes the worst - they seem happy to leave a parcel anywhere. Not for the first time I got back the other day to find a delivery from them just sitting on the front door step. The courier even had the nerve to put a card through the door saying he'd left it in "a secure front porch" - That'll be the front porch that was LOCKED!!

Working from home means that its easy to tell when a courier is pulling a fast one - I was waiting for a delivery from UPS and kept checking the website for updates and the status suddenly went from 'Out for Delivery' to 'First Delivery Attempt - Failed'. Presumably he was running behind schedule and decided he'd come out to me the following day. In fairness to UPS a quick call to their customer services and he was there within the hour.

DPD seem to be pretty good and usually text early in the day and give an hour slot during which the package will be delivered.

CheeseRolls · Dec 19, 2013

Two packages delivered via UPS for me, so not as good as DPD who give you an hour slot, but they still got the job done. That just leaves today's whipping boys Hermes, who have yet to scale my own wall of shame.

1 TNT - Why because their local depot is in Crawley, so a 40 mile round trip to pick up a missed parcel, that they will not arrange to re-deliver. Further it is a nightmare trying to get into the place on a Saturday.
2 Yodel - Seem to either deliver to me around 7 in the evening, or just lose things, consistently poor.
3 Parcelforce - Decided it would be too much trouble to actually deliver my parcel recently and left it at a local post office. No attempt to deliver it and the post office which is a mile away as the crow flies is about three miles by road. Not only that it was a sub-sub-sub post office, the sort that was supposed to have been shut down years ago. There are at least two nearer that I know of and can find without resorting to google maps and driving round and round an estate somewhere near Southlands Hospital.

I am going to need some help pushing Hermes into the top three. Frankly a stray pair of shoes for Mrs Rolls is not something I am going to break a sweat over, when she has hundreds of others anyway.

Simster · Dec 19, 2013

CheeseRolls said:
Not in the running are my personal terrible trio. Yodel, TNT and Parcelforce, all of which points to a positive outcome for the day.

Yodel are the shittest, least competent clowns in the field. They make the train companies seem efficient.

kingcole · Dec 19, 2013

CheeseRolls said:
Okay I have maybe half a dozen packages out for delivery today, so I reckon this is a good opportunity to start a thread about couriers. I think we have covered this before, but this is a fresh opportunity to let off some steam at the halfwits and highlight the good guys in the industry.

First off for me are Interlink Express who rang the doorbell 15 minutes ago with an Amazon delivery. Top work from them, although to be fair the depot is less than a quarter of a mile away, so I was either going to be first or last delivery of the day.

In the running today we have DPD, who I reckon are the top boys in this field. I reckon they will have two deliveries for me today, the first one due within the hour, according to an Email update and then a second to follow. The first package left the depot just after 5 this morning and the second was checked in around 7, hence I suspect two deliveries.

Next up we have UPS, who also have two packages, not sure when they will arrive or what to expect, but I reckon they will get the job done.

Outsiders are Hermes transport, with a pair of shoes for Mrs Rolls. These were supposed to have been signed for on Tuesday. I suspect these may be with a neighbour, who has forgotten to drop them around, but there is no card, so this is just guess work.

Not in the running are my personal terrible trio. Yodel, TNT and Parcelforce, all of which points to a positive outcome for the day.

DPD and Interlink are the same company. Geo Post. You can actually whack a consignment number into either website to look up the other carrier.

They are great as a sender as if our clients leave a mobile or email they will be texted/emailed a one hour delivery window.

I have used many carriers. They are not the cheapest but they are the best. And as you say, having them on the beach is very handy. They are also a very nice bunch there.

Machiavelli · Dec 19, 2013

I've just had a run-in with APC. They've left a 'sorry we missed you card', which said to give them a call. So I did. When I told them the number on the card, the bloke said: 'are you Mrs...'. I said no, and said I had this card, so could you redeliver the item. He said, we've tried to deliver three times already, and that we'd have to collect it. I pointed out to them that they were responsible for delivering the item. He said yes, 'but we can't deliver them 68 times when you're out'. At this point, I didn't think it was worth indicating that there's a difference between three and 68. We continued for a while, and he finished by saying that 'if she doesn't come and collect the item, we'll send it back to where it came from'. I'll leave it to them to sort it out.

Greavsey · Dec 19, 2013

I have noticed recently that any parcels delivered while we are out are just luzzed over our seven foot high side gate, and in some cases not discovered until a few days later due to no calling card being left. Will remember to make a note of the particular couriers in future!

On a positive note, has anyone used Shutl before? Had a last minute panic yesterday with my wife's Chrimbo present yesterday morning, so ordered her some shoes from Schuh. When checking out was expecting to be sweating on delivery up to the big day. But no, I chose Shutl delivery (free!) and they were with me three hours later!! Magnificent service. Not sure how they do it, and make it a profitable business - assume that Schuh absorbed a fairly significant delivery cost.

Eksman · Dec 19, 2013

I am a ups driver ( how dare I be on here and not delivering) and I must say we are behind on the fact we don't give you hour slots but I will say we will almost certainly make sure we deliver on time every time, right now is insane where we are going out with double and we are pushed past our capabilities but we extend our day and make sure we get it all done as that's what we are paid to do

So yeah, we aren't up to date with hour slots but you are pretty much guaranteed your delivery...

May I add, yodel are clowns

WhingForPresident · Dec 19, 2013

Yodel are awful.

fataddick · Dec 19, 2013

As my doorbell doesn't work and I refuse to stay in all day, DPD are the only one of any use to me. Their hour delivery slot is brilliant when you work out it's actually less than an hour, eg if they send you a text saying your package will be delivered between 2.17pm and 3.17pm, you know their van's delivery schedule logistics expects to get to you at 2.47pm (so your actual window is most likely 2.30-3 or even narrower).

Yodel and Myhermes are the worst (also the cheapest, you get what you pay for) even when you get them to deliver to a shop. The Co-op on Western Road doesn't have a clue when you go in to pick up a Myhermes package. Yodel aren't too bad at delivering to an Amazon locker though.

Elsewhere, it's down to which depot is easiest to get to by foot/train as I will have to go there the next day with my 'sorry we missed you' card.

Parcel Force are the worst - train to Three Bridges and a half hour walk through a concrete jungle and over the M23 to an industrial estate - was much better when they had a Shoreham Harbour depot, but can't really complain about that since I roller skate there now - although it closes at the end of the month, boo

UPS are in Newhaven, but only five mins walk from the station, so not too bad at all.

Fedex, DHL, Citilink and TNT it's been so long ago I can't remember where their depots are, but I'm pretty sure they're all miles away, most likely Gatwick area.

Annoyingly quite a few of these companies had depots in Hove/Aldrington (just off Old Shoreham Road, a couple of mins walk from those train stations) up until two or three years ago. Grrrr.

Carrot Cruncher · Dec 19, 2013

Relive the childhood thrill of a game of 'knock down Ginger/knock and run' by getting a job as a Yodel courier...

Butch Willykins · Dec 19, 2013

Excellent time to post one of my favorite Viz features ever - Download in full size here - http://fumaga.com/i/waiting-for-a-****ing-parcel.jpg

Butch Willykins · Dec 19, 2013

Gordon Bennett said:
I tend to find Hermes the worst - they seem happy to leave a parcel anywhere. Not for the first time I got back the other day to find a delivery from them just sitting on the front door step. The courier even had the nerve to put a card through the door saying he'd left it in "a secure front porch" - That'll be the front porch that was LOCKED!!.

This. I dont have a porch. The Hermes tosser left my parcel on my doorstep in the pissing rain, in the middle of Hove. Likewise he put a card through the door informing me this was a secure porch. Utter bell ends.

CheeseRolls · Dec 19, 2013

Waino696969 said:
Excellent time to post one of my favorite Viz features ever - Download in full size here - http://fumaga.com/i/waiting-for-a-****ing-parcel.jpg

View attachment 49641

Vis - A mighty fine publication at it's sarcastic best.

CheeseRolls · Dec 19, 2013

Hermes off the hook for me. Barry across the road rand the doorbell, with the missing shoes. To be fair to all concerned it was delivered with the wrong house number on the parcel. As Mrs Rolls does not make mistakes, this can only be down to an error by the retailer.

seagully · Dec 19, 2013

I once had a card through the door saying that my parcel was in my 'designated safe place'.

Turned out they had put it in the wheelie bin.

Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

Courier Wars

Well-known member

Well-known member

New member

Well-known member

Not a Registered User

Active member

Well-known member

"the man's an arse"

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Active member

.

Well-known member

NHS Slave

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Cock-knobs!

Share this page