OT Kids and computers

happypig · Nov 21, 2013

I think my boy spends too much time on his computer, he (not surprisingly) disagrees.

He tends to spend 5 hours a day playing games and chatting to his mates and rarely goes out to see his friends in the flesh.

On the up side, he came away from school with 10 GCSEs and is currently studying for his A-levels and learning to drive; by the time I was his age I was out every weekend (quite often staying out all night and getting pissed), had ditched college and got a crap job at Amex.

Are other kids like that ?

Goldstone Rapper · Nov 21, 2013

At least he's not spending 5 hours a day watching videos of other people playing computer games which seems to be something that appeals to a few ten year olds I've worked with...

Can't understand it.

smeariestbat · Nov 22, 2013

Goldstone Rapper said:
At least he's not spending 5 hours a day watching videos of other people playing computer games which seems to be something that appeals to a few ten year olds I've worked with...

Can't understand it.

videos of minecraft by any chance?

Green Cross Code Man · Nov 22, 2013

smeariestbat said:
videos of minecraft by any chance?

I like minecraft.

Box of Frogs · Nov 22, 2013

This sounds exactly like my 15 year old son.

At the weekends we barely see him unless he comes downstairs foraging for food.

He is constantly on Minecraft, Battlefield 4 or Call of Duty.

Simster · Nov 22, 2013

Goldstone Rapper said:
At least he's not spending 5 hours a day watching videos of other people playing computer games which seems to be something that appeals to a few ten year olds I've worked with...

Can't understand it.

smeariestbat said:
videos of minecraft by any chance?

You've met my 12 year old then!

To be fair, he works his nuts off compared to me at that age. He has HOURS of homework, and he loves partaking in sport (running, mostly). So I don't begrudge him his Minecraft downtime, even if we have to keep a close eye and ration it.

skipper734 · Nov 22, 2013

happypig said:
I think my boy spends too much time on his computer, he (not surprisingly) disagrees.

He tends to spend 5 hours a day playing games and chatting to his mates and rarely goes out to see his friends in the flesh.

On the up side, he came away from school with 10 GCSEs and is currently studying for his A-levels and learning to drive; by the time I was his age I was out every weekend (quite often staying out all night and getting pissed), had ditched college and got a crap job at Amex.

Are other kids like that ?

Jnr. Skipper is the same, and the same age. Although he does have a circle of School friends and a girl friend, ( wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean.) They sound very similar. Because his school mates have always lived away from each other and not next door or next street, as the way we grew up, their friendships are through and with their computers and game consoles.
He appears to be well rounded and informed on the world and it's ways, with good people skills. Only time will tell in the long run.

hans kraay fan club · Nov 22, 2013

Mine are 15 and 13. They are allowed a maximum of 2 hours gadget time - playstation / ipad - not counting the hours they might use the laptop for homework*.

And we are very strict of the game age restrictions. FIFA, driving games (NOT GTA obviously) and stuff like Lego Star Wars. No Halo, CoD or similar. Even after an hour concentrating on F1, they sometimes come off wired. Its not healthy, and you are absolutely right to be cautious about it.

A lot is to do with balance though. If my kids did nothing else, then I really would be concerned. As they both spend about 6 hours a week at football training sessions / matches, at least I know they are experiencing 'real' stuff, too.

*plus the hours that the older one undoubtably spends on fb via his phone... :facepalm:

willyfantastic · Nov 22, 2013

happypig said:
I think my boy spends too much time on his computer, he (not surprisingly) disagrees.

He tends to spend 5 hours a day playing games and chatting to his mates and rarely goes out to see his friends in the flesh.

On the up side, he came away from school with 10 GCSEs and is currently studying for his A-levels and learning to drive; by the time I was his age I was out every weekend (quite often staying out all night and getting pissed), had ditched college and got a crap job at Amex.

Are other kids like that ?

do his mates live close? are you close to public transport? if he's not to either of these then its quite obvious why he's chatting to them online (unless you are happy to be his taxi service)

also don't forget it's not the same as when you were younger - its just what people of this generation do. go on twitter and essentially everybody of that age spend their lives on their laptop etc

you have said it hasnt affected his schoolwork and you've also said hes spending time chatting with his mates, meaning they are doing the same thing, so i dont really see the problem. you could shove him outside to see his mates but if they are all inside doing what he's doing anyway then its a bit futile?

does he play any sports or have any hobbies?

father_and_son · Nov 22, 2013

My 15yo has an ipad mini that she got through school. Hove Park now dish out homework and study notes on the ipad and expect submissions electronically.

It's now almost impossible to tell if she's glued to it for good reasons or because she's permanently on facebook/facetime!

banjo · Nov 22, 2013

My son is 13 plays football trains twice a week. During the summer was out BMXing with he's mates but now the weathers not so good spends more time on playstation so do begrudge him really.

BigGully · Nov 22, 2013

Ban it for a while, you will be surprised what they then go on to do, like interact personally with their mates and go out and play yes play and play unsupervised yes play unsupervised in the dark .......

Curious Orange · Nov 22, 2013

happypig said:
I think my boy spends too much time on his computer, he (not surprisingly) disagrees.

He tends to spend 5 hours a day playing games and chatting to his mates and rarely goes out to see his friends in the flesh.

On the up side, he came away from school with 10 GCSEs and is currently studying for his A-levels and learning to drive; by the time I was his age I was out every weekend (quite often staying out all night and getting pissed), had ditched college and got a crap job at Amex.

Are other kids like that ?

When I was doing my GCSE's (90/91) I was frequently around my mates houses playing endless hours of computer games... so not much has changed in the last 20 years... apart from the actual need to go to your mates houses!

nwgull · Nov 22, 2013

I don't own a games console for the reason that I know I'd waste my life on it. Surfing the internet and social network sites is fine to an extent; you can learn stuff, swap ideas and generally interact - NSC for example. However, gaming to me just seems like a thief of time with no real benefit other than to over stimulate the frontal lobe of the brain.

gripper stebson · Nov 22, 2013

He sounds like me in 1987 playing Football Manager on the Spectrum!

Superphil · Nov 22, 2013

father_and_son said:
My 15yo has an ipad mini that she got through school. Hove Park now dish out homework and study notes on the ipad and expect submissions electronically.

It's now almost impossible to tell if she's glued to it for good reasons or because she's permanently on facebook/facetime!

Go into your wifi router settings, and set it to connect and disconnect from the web at a time you think is right. That way, they get dumped offline, and can't get back on. If you still intend to surf after the time, I believe most routers allow you to control what devices can log on at what times, BT HomeHub does that.

willyfantastic · Nov 22, 2013

nwgull said:
I don't own a games console for the reason that I know I'd waste my life on it. Surfing the internet and social network sites is fine to an extent; you can learn stuff, swap ideas and generally interact - NSC for example. However, gaming to me just seems like a thief of time with no real benefit other than to over stimulate the frontal lobe of the brain.

some people find it fun

its an art form, not dissimilar to films or books

hoveboyslim · Nov 22, 2013

Mustafa said:
I feel sorry for kids these days, it's not a real childhood - I wonder what this generation of kids will grow up like

What is a real childhood; the one we had when we grew up? Things move on, for good or bad every generation or so. In the grand scheme of things it wasn't actually that long ago that your childhood would have been spent working.

GingerBeerMan · Nov 22, 2013

Wow, this thread is actually making me sad. You lot have such outdated views on gaming (and computers in general) and can't understand it just because you never did it. When I was younger I could spend up to 10 hours a day playing games online, for a good couple of years. Do I regret it? Of course not, I still lead a well balance life, played football regularly, saw my friends, got good exam results.

Because you guys didn't do the same, you don't understand why we do it. Generations change, let your kids live their lives as they please and don't feel 'bad' for them for playing games because, in reality, they're having a ****ing good time.

Some common complaints and responses:

1. They don't spend time with their mates (do they even have mates?) - Of course they have mates, almost every kid has mates. It just likely he's playing with his friends online and interacting with them in-game to solve problems and work together. He's seen them for 6 hours at school already, don't forget.

2. They should be outside - Doing what? Seriously, there is nothing to do outside on a regular basis, especially when your mates are playing games/watching TV. Name some activities and I can say why kids won't do them.

3. They should get out getting pissed and living life (happypig) - Yes, drinking is obviously much better than increasing hand-eye coordination, teamwork, creativity and chatting to your mates

This quote is probabaly the saddest in a realy sad thread:

Its not healthy, and you are absolutely right to be cautious about it.

A lot is to do with balance though. If my kids did nothing else, then I really would be concerned. As they both spend about 6 hours a week at football training sessions / matches, at least I know they are experiencing 'real' stuff, too.

So so so much is wrong with that statement and it's coming from a guy who is well respected on this forum; other people will listen to your view more readily than some posters.

There are loads of studies you can find online which have found gaming improves different aspects of cognitive function.

Please don't 'begrudge' your kids for playing games, it'll only make them feel bad or even resent you for not understanding why they play. If you take an interest in their games, ask them questions, what they're up to etc it'll make you closer, give you talking points and they'll want to talk to you to tell you what they've been up to in their game. If you have time to try and learn to play, nothing will make you closer than giving them a game of FIFA or doing multiplayer zombies with them on COD.

Ali_rrr · Nov 22, 2013

I used to spend lots of time on my Xbox a few years ago. Mainly, it was because I wasn't allowed to do lots of things I wanted, so it was a way to pass the time.

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