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A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) hit Croydon in the early hours of Monday with its epicentre in Waddon. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering “Faaackinell”
The hurricane decimated the area causing almost £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collection of momentos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken up before their Giros arrived.
Croydon FM reported that hundreds of locals were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened. One resident Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of 5 said ”It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into the bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning.
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Special Brew to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Ratners and Bone China from the Pound Shop.
HOW CAN YOU HELP
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after-items most needed include
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuits (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White stilletoes
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals
Tins of Baked Beans
KFC
Ice cream
Cans of Special Brew
22p buys a biro for filling in compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisp and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine
£5 buys fags and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected
“BREAKING NEWS”
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop and were worried she had been badly cut…
“Where are bleeding from?” they asked
“Addington” said the girl “woss that goota do wiv you?”
The hurricane decimated the area causing almost £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collection of momentos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken up before their Giros arrived.
Croydon FM reported that hundreds of locals were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened. One resident Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of 5 said ”It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into the bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning.
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Special Brew to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Ratners and Bone China from the Pound Shop.
HOW CAN YOU HELP
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after-items most needed include
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuits (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White stilletoes
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals
Tins of Baked Beans
KFC
Ice cream
Cans of Special Brew
22p buys a biro for filling in compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisp and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine
£5 buys fags and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected
“BREAKING NEWS”
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop and were worried she had been badly cut…
“Where are bleeding from?” they asked
“Addington” said the girl “woss that goota do wiv you?”
.
