I think i'm Gay!

red star portslade · Oct 19, 2013

I'd like to ask the NSC dwellers for your opinion on my own apprehension regarding manly matters.

Yesterday i travelled from Portslade to Southampton to visit my Gran who's not well. Unfortunately, some scrote around here snapped my aerial from the car a while back and I've been too bone-idle to do anything about it. Whilst driving on the 27, the options are either a CD or inaudiable radio interference. The second problem is that the Mrs has somehow got her Adele '21' album stuck in the player therefore I had the option of silence or the Portslade-based warbler.

I listened to it on the way because I was stuck in traffic, then on the way back to break up the monotony of driving. The song below caught my attention as I approached Portsmouth and from then on, I couldn't resist re-starting it over and over. By the time I hit Shoreham, I knew it word for word and was crooning away gloriously whilst trying to come up with a sob story I could bore the nation with before my rendition in next year's X Factor auditions.

Willy Dangle · Oct 19, 2013

You've gone a long way to justify to us the reason why you listened to it.

Could you not have just said you wanted to because it is pretty good. Gay or not.

Leighgull · Oct 19, 2013

Did you feel the urge to look at men's winkles? That's the usual symptom I understand (if you are a man, obviously. Ladies like looking at men's winkles so if you're a lady it's not gayness...it's when they like looking at front bottoms that they're gay) singing Adele songs in a falsetto whilst driving along the A27 means you're diddlo. Not a gay.

pipkin112 · Oct 19, 2013

red star portslade said:
I'd like to ask the NSC dwellers for your opinion on my own apprehension regarding manly matters.

Yesterday i travelled from Portslade to Southampton to visit my Gran who's not well. Unfortunately, some scrote around here snapped my aerial from the car a while back and I've been too bone-idle to do anything about it. Whilst driving on the 27, the options are either a CD or inaudiable radio interference. The second problem is that the Mrs has somehow got her Adele '21' album stuck in the player therefore I had the option of silence or the Portslade-based warbler.

I listened to it on the way because I was stuck in traffic, then on the way back to break up the monotony of driving. The song below caught my attention as I approached Portsmouth and from then on, I couldn't resist re-starting it over and over. By the time I hit Shoreham, I knew it word for word and was crooning away gloriously whilst trying to come up with a sob story I could bore the nation with before my rendition in next year's X Factor auditions.

Sob story? You live in Portslade, you are on to a winner.

Hope your nan gets better soon. :thumbsup:

Dougie · Oct 20, 2013

Guillllllllllty .

Guinness Boy · Oct 20, 2013

You're fine. Let us know when you're listening to Judy Garland, The Communards and Kylie sped up to 140bpm on rotation*

*you have not been charged for this stereotype

Norman Potting · Oct 20, 2013

I like trying to sing the harmonies to "Acadian Driftwood" by "The Band" (trust me, you wouldn't like to hear me do it). Does that make me an elderly Canadian rocker?

BN9 BHA · Oct 20, 2013

So what you like Adele, not my thing but she has a good voice, don't see any connection between listening to her and being gay.
What happened to wire coat hangers? always done a job when some b'Stard broke off your car aerial.

Mackenzie · Oct 20, 2013

:safeway:

Deffo.

banjo · Oct 20, 2013

red star portslade said:
I'd like to ask the NSC dwellers for your opinion on my own apprehension regarding manly matters.

Yesterday i travelled from Portslade to Southampton to visit my Gran who's not well. Unfortunately, some scrote around here snapped my aerial from the car a while back and I've been too bone-idle to do anything about it. Whilst driving on the 27, the options are either a CD or inaudiable radio interference. The second problem is that the Mrs has somehow got her Adele '21' album stuck in the player therefore I had the option of silence or the Portslade-based warbler.

I listened to it on the way because I was stuck in traffic, then on the way back to break up the monotony of driving. The song below caught my attention as I approached Portsmouth and from then on, I couldn't resist re-starting it over and over. By the time I hit Shoreham, I knew it word for word and was crooning away gloriously whilst trying to come up with a sob story I could bore the nation with before my rendition in next year's X Factor auditions.

Yes, yes you are.

knocky1 · Oct 22, 2013

I believe that she is not Portslade based. Never seen her in the Battle of Trafalgar. Seen a number of people of similar size smoking outside Tescos but none were her. If you think she lives in Western Esplanade then you would be wrong. She doesn't and if she did it would be Hove, hence the address Western Esplanade, albeit with a Portslade BN41 postcode.

hans kraay fan club · Oct 22, 2013

knocky1 said:
I believe that she is not Portslade based. Never seen her in the Battle of Trafalgar. Seen a number of people of similar size smoking outside Tescos but none were her..

This made me laugh. Good work

Baldseagull · Oct 22, 2013

Liking the song and even singing along in your car is less than macho but not Gay, however, wanting to perform it on X Factor is very Gay.

red star portslade · Oct 22, 2013

Baldseagull said:
Liking the song and even singing along in your car is less than macho but not Gay, however, wanting to perform it on X Factor is very Gay.

I've got my X Factor audition sob story sorted.

I think I could own the stage with this and make the song my own. I've been singing since I was 4 years old when I first heard the Thomas the Tank Engine theme tune. It's all I've ever wanted to do. I love my life but would like to do something to make a difference and make things better for my kids.

If you'd just give me the chance, it'd mean everything to me. It'd be everything I've ever dreamed of. I don't want to moan about things but I've had a hard time growing up. I've been mocked and bullied about my weight. People don't realise what a nightmare half-bullimia is to live with. The eating binges mixed with amnesia which causes me to forget to throw up afterwards.

I've always wanted to perform and believe I could reach the very top and win the entire competition

Pevenseagull · Oct 22, 2013

Norman Potting said:
I like trying to sing the harmonies to "Acadian Driftwood" by "The Band" (trust me, you wouldn't like to hear me do it). Does that make me an elderly Canadian rocker?

yes, yes it does

knocky1 · Oct 22, 2013

hans kraay fan club said:
This made me laugh. Good work

I plagiarised that from the Gentrification of Portslade thread. Apologies to original thought maker.

Guinness Boy · Oct 22, 2013

knocky1 said:
I plagiarised that from the Gentrification of Portslade thread. Apologies to original thought maker.

You nicked it off me but I have to say the addition of the Adele comparison improved it :thumbsup:

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