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Idea's for new television programmes.



red star portslade

New member
Jul 8, 2012
1,882
Hove innit
Escape to the Country.

Broadmoor hospital leaves it's doors open for a day, with hilarious consequences for the local rural community.

Anymore?
 


bluenitsuj

Listen to me!!!
Feb 26, 2011
4,305
Willingdon
Big brother - unknown to the idiot contestants, it is not shown on tv, not filmed and when a person leaves, the remaining contestants hear 1 shot from a shotgun.

I think it would be excellent, wannabees spending 3 months in a house thinking millions are watching.
 


Mellotron

I've asked for soup
Jul 2, 2008
31,730
Brighton
Inner City Sumo?

You get fat people from the inner cities, put them in nappies and film them wrestling. Do it in a pub car park. If you don't do it Sky will.

Arm Wrestling with Chas'n'Dave?

A Partridge Amongst The Pigeons?

Me, in a town square , feeding some Pigeons, going "oh, god!" Etc.
























Monkey tennis?
 


strings

Moving further North...
Feb 19, 2006
9,965
Barnsley
Big brother - unknown to the idiot contestants, it is not shown on tv, not filmed and when a person leaves, the remaining contestants hear 1 shot from a shotgun.

I think it would be excellent, wannabees spending 3 months in a house thinking millions are watching.

Gunshots aside, I seem to remember channel 4 running something similar about 10 years ago, where contestants thought they were training for a space mission and thought they were actually in space. In fact, they were in a TV studio the whole time. I only member seeing the first episode, but the contestants were clearly not the sharpest brains Britain had to offer.
 






Brovion

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 6, 2003
19,322
Doctor Where.

A load of sick people are put in a hospital, however due to NHS budget cuts there's only ONE doctor! The contestants have to follow clues to work their way round the hospital to try and track down the doctor. Winner gets treated.
 




spring hall convert

Well-known member
Nov 3, 2009
9,608
Brighton
Celebrity Colonic Irrigation

One celebrity a week has the contents of their bowels investiagted by Gillian McKieth, interspersed with light hearted interviews whilst the deed is being done and clips of the celeb in action.

Britian's Worst Public Toilets

A hard hitting documentary starring Donal, McIntyre as he fearlessly investigates the toilets that time forgot. Interviews with local drug addicts and prostitutes as well as amusing footage of the hapless clean up operation.

Out of Your Range

A property based show with a twist. Kirsty Allsopp sarcastically & heartlessly taunts decent hard working proles about the values of property they can't afford.

The Ex Factor

Numerous contestents compete for the grand prize, awarded to the person who can dump their current partner in the most heartless fashion. Paddy McGuiness presents.
 




spring hall convert

Well-known member
Nov 3, 2009
9,608
Brighton
Pressure Cooker

Nigella Lawson attempts to cook a 7 course banquet, whilst her ex husband Charles Saatchi shouts abuse at her and tries to pysically assault her.
 










Meade's Ball

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,612
Hither (sometimes Thither)
View to a Cull.

Lenny Henry, Tony Robinson and one of Hale and Pace pull a weapon out of a sack of 10 possibilities, before being sent into the wilderness to both lure out badger and bludgeon them with a spade or spiked club. The footage will be filmed mostly on forehead-cams and the slain will be skinned to be worn by their now-mad destroyer. Dale Winton will count the pelts to identify the winner of most-culled.
 


El Presidente

The ONLY Gay in Brighton
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,689
Pattknull med Haksprut
Poyetry Celebrity Motions

Gus Poyet presents a show from the Amex away dressing room. A celebrity has shat in a bucket, and a panel of Carol Voorderman, David Mitchell and David Walliams have to guess who did the dump. If they get the answer wrong, they go in the gunk tank.
 






spring hall convert

Well-known member
Nov 3, 2009
9,608
Brighton
Come Down With Me

A group of 20 something students invite a celebrity into their home for an average Sunday morning in after the heavy night before. See the agonising wait until the pub opens & the repeated attempts to call Dominos well in advance of their appointed opening time. Soundtrack comes from the Orb
 




Gazwag

5 millionth post poster
Mar 4, 2004
30,093
Bexhill-on-Sea
Reality Golden Shot

A re-make of the 70's TV show - "Stars" from reality tv shows sit with an apple placed on their head while members of the public control a strongbow giving left/right/up/down/fire commands through the telephone.
 




Seagull kimchi

New member
Oct 8, 2010
4,007
Korea and India
Come Down With Me

A group of 20 something students invite a celebrity into their home for an average Sunday morning in after the heavy night before. See the agonising wait until the pub opens & the repeated attempts to call Dominos well in advance of their appointed opening time. Soundtrack comes from the Orb

Genius...could include a stoned dry toast eating contest to the sound of 'Little fluffy clouds!.:smokin:
 


Meade's Ball

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,612
Hither (sometimes Thither)
Osborne Free.
Our unbeloved chancelor and his family are raised by two earnest-hearted hippies in the wild. They show untold love to the set of undeveloped and charmless beasts, but have to decide how to act when Uncle Roger Osborne is caught breaking out of camp and eating a local child.
 



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