Joke du jour

ExmouthExile

Well-known member

Feb 11, 2005

1,800

• Sep 14, 2013

• #1

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is couple sex?"

The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.

Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"

The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs."

 

S

sten_super

Brain Surgeon

Jul 28, 2005

5,945

Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, United Kingdom

• Sep 14, 2013

• #2

If dinner was ready a 'couple secs' after asking the question, how did he manage to 'leave nothing out' of the story of human reproduction? Surely they would have arrived at the dinner table, Grandma would have realised what was going on and silenced Grampa with a steely gaze?

I don't think this really happened, did it?

 

Bruntburger

New member

Mar 9, 2009

1,138

Peacehaven

• Sep 14, 2013

• #3

There a couple of variables to consider here -

1. How far the yard is from the entrance to the kitchen?

2. The duration of the Grand fathers sexual experiences?

 

Seagull on the wing

New member

Sep 22, 2010

7,458

Hailsham

• Sep 14, 2013

• #4

sten_super said:

If dinner was ready a 'couple secs' after asking the question, how did he manage to 'leave nothing out' of the story of human reproduction? Surely they would have arrived at the dinner table, Grandma would have realised what was going on and silenced Grampa with a steely gaze?

I don't think this really happened, did it?

Click to expand...

Now that's one smart cookie....I think maybe it was a bit beyond the truth as well....

 

skipper734

Registered ruffian

Aug 9, 2008

9,189

Curdridge

• Sep 14, 2013

• #5

I'll wager an 8 year old knows more about sex than Granddad, in to-days world. @unrealistic. 4/10

 

M

MattBackHome

Well-known member

Jul 7, 2003

11,720

• Sep 14, 2013

• #6

I would have thought the girls expression would begin to manifest itself way before the end of the story.

 

D

dougdeep

New member

May 9, 2004

37,732

SUNNY SEAFORD

• Sep 14, 2013

• #7

Do you mean sex doesn't have to be solo?

 

hybrid_x

Banned

Jun 28, 2011

2,225

• Sep 14, 2013

• #8

jokes about 8 year olds and sex aren't really appropriate at the moment - i assume you don't keep up on world events?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/child-bride-dies-wedding-night-yemen-article-1.1450874

 

hart's shirt

Well-known member

Jul 8, 2003

10,157

Kitbag in Dubai

• Sep 14, 2013

• #9

Was the grandfather getting paid for his work in the yard?

If so, will he be paying the appropriate level of tax on his earnings?

The only 'joke' here would seem to be on the honest taxpayer scammed out of more money by yet another benefits fraudster.

HM Revenues and Customs are probably investigating at the moment.

One would think that a brief custodial sentence along with a protection order for the young girl would be entirely appropriate here.

 

P

Postman Pat

Well-known member

Jul 24, 2007

6,971

Coldean

• Sep 14, 2013

• #10

I am concerned that the grandfathers immediate response was regarding sex. This is an 8 year old girl. There was ambiguity in her question and he should have clarified why she wanted to know before going into gratuitous detail. This isn't his place to discuss these things with his grand-daughter and he should have directed her question to her parents.

This girl will likely need some therapy to get over what her grandfather has said, and I suggest he is put on a register somewhere.

The biggest concern is that he appears to be proud of this story as he is telling all and sundry about this if you have heard about it. These are sad times.

 

M

METALMICKY

Well-known member

Jan 30, 2004

6,053

• Sep 14, 2013

• #11

A child Safeguarding alert if ever there was one!

 

M

METALMICKY

Well-known member

Jan 30, 2004

6,053

• Sep 14, 2013

• #12

A child Safeguarding alert if ever there was one!

 

Kumquat

New member

Mar 2, 2009

4,459

• Sep 14, 2013

• #13

I think this kind of story just reinforces the age old stereotype of the woman doing the cooking as well. Its 2013 for goodness sake!

 

drew

Drew

Oct 3, 2006

23,043

Burgess Hill

• Sep 14, 2013

• #14

hybrid_x said:

jokes about 8 year olds and sex aren't really appropriate at the moment - i assume you don't keep up on world events?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/child-bride-dies-wedding-night-yemen-article-1.1450874

Click to expand...

You need to learn the difference between paedophilia and sex education!

 

ExmouthExile

Well-known member

Feb 11, 2005

1,800

• Sep 14, 2013

• Thread starter
• #15

I do enjoy these threads!

 

Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!

Jul 7, 2003

6,874

Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!

• Sep 14, 2013

• #16

There's no mention of the mother or father. Would they have wanted a grandparent to explain about the birds and the bees?
I reckon Grampa should have advised the 8 year old to ask her mum or dad.
Maybe he was getting off by talking dirty to her?
I think I'll report him.

 

Spun Cuppa

Thanks Greens :(

Jul 2, 2009

5,352

'We're on the road to nowhere...'

• Sep 14, 2013

• #17

I'd add that the girl was probably traumatised by the incorrect grammar of omitting the obviously required 'of' that should be between the words 'couple' and 'secs', and will no doubt become a council tenant in a large publicly-funded house and the unmarried mother of seven