Getting over a serious break up - HELP!!!!!!

Uncle Spielberg said:

Has she met someone else ? Don't mean to be harsh but 9 times out of 10 they have.

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Worthingite said:

how do you get over a relationship where you've just drifted apart? And is there anything anyone could recommend to "throw a grenade" into a relationship that's died like that, to kickstart it again?

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Worthingite said:

Hi guys

I've just broken up with my partner of nearly 5 years, and it's one of those horrible sad breakup's where neither of us have done anything wrong per se, but not a lot right has happened. With the wealth of knowledge and opinion on here - how do you get over a relationship where you've just drifted apart? And is there anything anyone could recommend to "throw a grenade" into a relationship that's died like that, to kickstart it again? We both care about each other very much still, and rather than being acrimonious and screaming at each other, all we seem to be doing is apologising to each other and being extra nice. It's a bloody horrible situation to be in to be honest - every one of our friends have said how well we seem to be doing with it, but to be honest I WANT to hate her, and be angry to make the grieving for the relationship stop.

Sorry to bore you lot with this, but I need to get it off my chest somewhere

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Worthingite said:

No, entirely mutual. She was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder last month, and she keeps telling me that she wants to "find out who she is" She's 25, I'm 31. I've found the bi-polar hard (although I've wanted to support her every step of the way - still do - it's not like we've split because I'm running away from it), and in fairness, we've just drifted over the past 6 months or so to the point that we barely spoke to each other unless it was to ask for something or to have an argument. What's galling me is that I love the bones of her, and wish that I'd taken more notice of the signs which are now so bloody apparent over the past few months.

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spongy said:

Generally speaking, if a relationship has failed it has failed for a reason, it seems as though you have drifted apart, and that has happened for a reason, in my limited experience of relationships they either work, or they don't.

Don't want to hate her just because you feel you should, if you don't then you shouldn't. It can get ugly and nasty especially if you have mutual friends that can get stuck in the middle.

My advice would be to just accept that that the relationship has run it's natural course and take solace in that, trying to spice things up or give it another go after a break doesn't generally work, it will fail again as after the initial excitement again people revert to their old ways again.

Try not to rebound with another woman as that never works either, the first emotions of loneliness will fade and you will move on, the timescale always varies depending on the individual but it will happen. Don't try to cling on to something that you don't really want because the fear of loneliness is worse than actually being single.

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spongy said:

Generally speaking, if a relationship has failed it has failed for a reason, it seems as though you have drifted apart, and that has happened for a reason, in my limited experience of relationships they either work, or they don't.

Don't want to hate her just because you feel you should, if you don't then you shouldn't. It can get ugly and nasty especially if you have mutual friends that can get stuck in the middle.

My advice would be to just accept that that the relationship has run it's natural course and take solace in that, trying to spice things up or give it another go after a break doesn't generally work, it will fail again as after the initial excitement again people revert to their old ways again.

Try not to rebound with another woman as that never works either, the first emotions of loneliness will fade and you will move on, the timescale always varies depending on the individual but it will happen. Don't try to cling on to something that you don't really want because the fear of loneliness is worse than actually being single.

Click to expand...

spongy said:

Generally speaking, if a relationship has failed it has failed for a reason, it seems as though you have drifted apart, and that has happened for a reason, in my limited experience of relationships they either work, or they don't.

Don't want to hate her just because you feel you should, if you don't then you shouldn't. It can get ugly and nasty especially if you have mutual friends that can get stuck in the middle.

My advice would be to just accept that that the relationship has run it's natural course and take solace in that, trying to spice things up or give it another go after a break doesn't generally work, it will fail again as after the initial excitement again people revert to their old ways again.

Try not to rebound with another woman as that never works either, the first emotions of loneliness will fade and you will move on, the timescale always varies depending on the individual but it will happen. Don't try to cling on to something that you don't really want because the fear of loneliness is worse than actually being single.

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Tulip said:

Have you tried anal?

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Worthingite said:

No, entirely mutual. She was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder last month, and she keeps telling me that she wants to "find out who she is" She's 25, I'm 31. I've found the bi-polar hard (although I've wanted to support her every step of the way - still do - it's not like we've split because I'm running away from it), and in fairness, we've just drifted over the past 6 months or so to the point that we barely spoke to each other unless it was to ask for something or to have an f. What's me is that I love the bones of her, and wish that I'd taken more notice of the signs which are now so bloody apparent over the past few months.

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Beach Hut said:

****

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