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red star portslade · Jul 16, 2013

Young and old, pert or like a cows udders....nothing is sacred in the sunshine.

So what's the etiquette? Where are you supposed to look? How are you supposed to look for your friends/family without looking like, or indeed having, a cheeky perve?

There I was sat at beach chatting with Paula from Portslade and she had her tits out, didn't know what to do with myself. Paula was chatting like she was dressed, Mrs Red Star to my side meant firm eye contact was the only option but did Paula want me to look? Have I actually offended her whilst keeping Mrs Red Star happy? Mrs Red Star (the perve) said they were fake so I can only assume, in hindsight, that young Paula was proud of them.

It's a dilemma.

nwgull · Jul 16, 2013

Pics required. Obviously.

hans kraay fan club · Jul 16, 2013

If she's got them out, and is engaging in conversation, rather than trying to keep herself to herself, then she wanted you to look. Look mind, rather than leer.

But, the presence of your missus, means you were absolutely right not to. Could only have ended in tears. Probably yours.

public school boy · Jul 16, 2013

I'm far more interested in the boys. A nice big Willy grabs my attention. YUM YUM.

hans kraay fan club · Jul 16, 2013

The Naughty Vicar said:
I'm far more interested in the boys. A nice big Willy grabs my attention. YUM YUM.

I've always found with spoof accounts that subtelty is the key. Too much = zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sergei's Celebration · Jul 16, 2013

Point into the distance and say 'oh wow look at that' then have a good hard stare when they are looking away.

backson · Jul 16, 2013

Dark sunglasses

Mad as my Mother · Jul 16, 2013

backson said:
Dark sunglasses

They just don't work! My missus knows I'm having a peek even if I have glasses so dark Stevie Wonder would be proud.

banjo · Jul 16, 2013

You should of just grabbed them and said " are they real " that would of broken the ice. The wife and Paula would of been in utter shock and you'd probably of got away with it.

The Large One · Jul 16, 2013

red star portslade said:
Young and old, pert or like a cows udders....nothing is sacred in the sunshine.

So what's the etiquette? Where are you supposed to look? How are you supposed to look for your friends/family without looking like, or indeed having, a cheeky perve?

There I was sat at beach chatting with Paula from Portslade and she had her tits out, didn't know what to do with myself. Paula was chatting like she was dressed, Mrs Red Star to my side meant firm eye contact was the only option but did Paula want me to look? Have I actually offended her whilst keeping Mrs Red Star happy? Mrs Red Star (the perve) said they were fake so I can only assume, in hindsight, that young Paula was proud of them.

It's a dilemma.

The fact that they're false meant she wanted you to look; why spend a few grand just to hide them once the sun comes out?*

*Unless there was a medical reason for the implants, which makes this post even more unncessary.

Coldeanseagull · Jul 16, 2013

Why the hell did you take your missus to the the beach?
Boooooooooooobies!!!!

skipper734 · Jul 16, 2013

Coldeanseagull said:
Why the hell did you take your missus to the the beach?
Boooooooooooobies!!!!

Maybe his Mrs took him, so she could ogle the fit blokes wearing Budgie Smugglers. :blush:

porkdog · Jul 16, 2013

Massive fan of this type of sun bathing and think more women should do so. obviously this all depends on the woman that is doing so but to be honest tits are tits unless there by your knees then they should be strapped up and put away. otherwise go ahead and get em out

Chicken Runner61 · Jul 16, 2013

I hate it when women with fake tits say you can feel them if you like when they have had work done.

After all, I mean what are you expected to do and for how long?....

If you just have a quick touch or prod I feel like its being rude but if you cup them and move them around is that going too far?

And if the missus is around its even worse!

Billy the Fish · Jul 16, 2013

Deep down you are a leering pervert and that's why you didn't know what to do with yourself and felt guilty about looking

Norman Potting · Jul 16, 2013

Knitted Victorian bathing cossies and bathing machines, it's the future I tell you!!

Herr Tubthumper · Jul 16, 2013

Mad as my Mother said:
They just don't work! My missus knows I'm having a peek even if I have glasses so dark Stevie Wonder would be proud.

If the missus can tell it probably means you need baggy shorts as well then.

John Bumlick · Jul 16, 2013

Chicken Runner61 said:
I hate it when women with fake tits say you can feel them if you like when they have had work done.

exactly how many women have told you that you can feel their fake tits?

The Wookiee · Jul 16, 2013

Nibble · Jul 16, 2013

My other half used to catch me staring at tits the whole time, she just said "If a bloke can't stare at some tits what's the world coming to?" I loved that woman.

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