Manager Required - Apply Here

Manager Wanted For Ambitious Championship Club

I have ruled myself out of the race based on age and the fact that I would probably still employ the 2-3-5 formation. Also my last managerial role was in the Hangleton 5-a-side league back in the 1970's and my team sacked me.

Tell us why you think you could manage BHAFC in next year's Championship and get us into the promised land.
Temperament:
Salary Expectations:
Playing Experience(If you're Andy Cole use separate sheet):
Coaching Experience:
Talent Spotting:
Foreign Languages:
Plan B:
Man Management:
Hair Dryer Rating:
Media Relations:

*If you've not heard back us within 7 days assume your application has been unsuccessful*

I've won a league title, the season after I secured a midtable finish, this season we got to 4th place and all the credit should given to me. We unfortunately went out to our rivals in the play offs so I now can't be bothered unless my tight arse of chairman gives me more money to spend, even though he's increased the budget every season and given me a reasonable amount of money to spend the last few years, my heart isn't in the job no more, I need a new challenge.

I'm clearly the ideal candidate.

Temperament: Usually mild, but can occasionally explode
Salary Expectations: Couple of grand a week will do nicely
Playing Experience(If you're Andy Cole use separate sheet): Intramural team at university, so I've experience of playing at the very highest level of inebriation
Coaching Experience: Several trophies on Football Manager, including winning the Championship with Brighton & Hove Albion, and most recently the Dutch title with Feyenoord on half the budget of my rivals. Also have a level one basketball coaching qualification
Talent Spotting: Lionel Messi's quite good, I reckon.
Foreign Languages: A little bit of German and French
Plan B: Yell frustratedly at players for not being any good
Man Management: I'm generally quite nice
Hair Dryer Rating: 3/10
Media Relations: Excellent, having worked in the media

I played Football Manager back on my Amstrad CPC when I was a kid. Not the more recent ones though, I get bored too easily.