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Thinngs you wish you never said..



swindonseagull

swindonseagull

Well-known member
Aug 6, 2003
9,262
Swindon, but used to be Manila
whilst filling up my car this morning the lady in the petrol station(who I know) said " stick it in the bottom" , I quickly replied ..." NO Good morning first?"

she was of course talking about the slot for my cash card...after bemoaning ALL males childish sense of humour she sent me my way with a big smile.
 




Titus

Titus

Come on!
Feb 21, 2010
2,873
Up here on the left.
I spotted a mate in a crowded pub one evening, I shouted across "How did you get on with that blonde last night." Then I noticed his wife was sitting behind him. :(
 




Phat Baz 68

Phat Baz 68

Get a ****ing life mate !
Apr 16, 2011
5,023
Asked a mate in a pub once who the fat stinky munter was he was with last night and he replied it was his sister who has learning difficulties !!! Oh ground swallow me up please !!!
 


Hyperion

Hyperion

New member
Nov 1, 2010
5,314
When I was about 10 my mate invited me round for lunch at his mum and dads and who where very posh, they had a big salad so I decided to accidentally mispronounce one of the veg on offer and promptly asked his stuck up mum to pass me the Crinkle cu*t Beetroot. :(
 




grubbyhands

grubbyhands

Well-known member
Dec 8, 2011
2,285
Godalming
swindonseagull said:
whilst filling up my car this morning the lady in the petrol station(who I know) said " stick it in the bottom" , I quickly replied ..." NO Good morning first?"

she was of course talking about the slot for my cash card...after bemoaning ALL males childish sense of humour she sent me my way with a big smile.
Click to expand...

Thinngs?
 


Worthingite

Worthingite

Sexy Pete... :D
Sep 16, 2011
4,959
Worthing
"Will you marry me?" to my utter utter nutcase of an ex. Luckily never made it that far. Once smashed a pub sized ashtray over my head because I was "taking the piss". True story.
 


Willy Dangle

Willy Dangle

New member
Aug 31, 2011
3,551
Daydreaming in French lesson when I was asked a question. My mate whispered the answer in my ear and I proceeded to say in French.......

Open your legs my cock is massive.

I didn't see the end of lesson. Needless to say I was also dating the teachers daughter. Fair play to my mate never held it against him.
 






P

Poyetry In Motion

Pooetry Motions
Feb 26, 2009
3,556
6.61 miles from the Amex
I used to work in an office and really fancied my (female) supervisor. Now this was the 1980's and poodle haircuts were 'in' . Anyway, this woman had come to work with a new poodle haircut. I was trying to compliment her in a gushy teenage way and I meant to say " Hi Penny, like your hair - you look great " .
For some reason, I actually said " Hi Penny, you look like a dog " :facepalm:
Needless to say, I never got the chance to get jiggy with her
 










Bevendean Hillbilly

Bevendean Hillbilly

New member
Sep 4, 2006
12,805
Nestling in green nowhere
I think the diahorrea has stopped now, I should be ok to wait til the next services.
 




Mellotron

Mellotron

I've asked for soup
Jul 2, 2008
31,826
Brighton
Worthingite said:
"Will you marry me?" to my utter utter nutcase of an ex. Luckily never made it that far. Once smashed a pub sized ashtray over my head because I was "taking the piss". True story.
Click to expand...

Were you taking the piss?
 


Bevendean Hillbilly

Bevendean Hillbilly

New member
Sep 4, 2006
12,805
Nestling in green nowhere
Worthingite said:
"Will you marry me?" to my utter utter nutcase of an ex. Luckily never made it that far. Once smashed a pub sized ashtray over my head because I was "taking the piss". True story.
Click to expand...

Serves you right. Incidentally did you propose before or after she twatted you with the ashtray?
 




thedonkeycentrehalf

thedonkeycentrehalf

Retired
Jul 7, 2003
8,607
In Bensons Nightclub Worthing, mid-80's - "look at that old ****** sat there in his John Travolta white suit and why does he think it looks cool to wear shades in a dark nightclub?" At which point his mate passes him his white stick and walks the bloke away.
 








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