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Making the punishment fit the crime ...



Lush

Mods' Pet
I'm in a vengeful mood, so what punishment do you think would better fit certain crimes than the usual package of fines/community service/prison?

I suggest ...

The grafitti 'taggers' who think nothing of scrawling all over people's walls should have to lay out all their prized possessions (phone, designer clothes etc) while I scrawl over them with a permanent marker pen. Maybe their faces too.

People who steal copper from railways, grinding commuters to a halt on a daily basis should all be crammed into a cage on London Bridge station and left without food or water for hours, causing them to miss a really important event in their lives, while commuters swear and shake their fists at them.

Any more ideas?
 


Trufflehound

Re-enfranchised
Aug 5, 2003
14,104
The democratic and free EU
People who drop used chewing gum or cigarette butts, or who do not pick up what their dogs leave behind, should be lined up against a wall and mercilessly strafed with machine gun bullets until they are nothing more than a lifeless mass of blubber and blood.

Or have I not got the hang of this?
 


Kumquat

New member
Mar 2, 2009
4,459
People who stand excessivley at football grounds should be made to sit down. Especially if they hate palace.
 


upthealbion1970

bring on the trumpets....
NSC Patreon
Jan 22, 2009
8,861
Woodingdean
Drivers found guilty of tailgating forced to drive a brown 1.0 metro for a year
 


Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patreon
May 8, 2007
12,750
Toronto
Drivers found guilty of tailgating forced to drive a brown 1.0 metro for a year

So what you are saying is ALL BMWs should be swapped for Metros?


People that drop cigarette butts should be made to have their letter box turned into a bin so litter gets continuously dropped onto their doormat.
 




Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
People who let their dogs foul in public and don't clean it up should be made to stand warden in parks and on streets and when they see a dog haveing an eartha be made to step in and say to the owner "Don't worry Sir/Madam I'll get that" Clean it up and say "Thank you". they would of course wear pink Hi-Viz with the words PLOP PICKER emblazoned across the shoulders.
 


dingodan

New member
Feb 16, 2011
10,080
People caught with weed should be forced to smoke it.
 






Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patreon
May 8, 2007
12,750
Toronto
Yes indeedy and if no metros available then an original fiat panda :D

Perhaps there should be a scale based on the severity and number of offences:

First/Minor offence - Nissan Micra
Second/Serious offence - Metro/Panda
Third/Severe offence - Reliant Robin
Repeated severe offences - Sinclair C5
 


People who let their dogs foul in public and don't clean it up should be made to stand warden in parks and on streets and when they see a dog haveing an eartha be made to step in and say to the owner "Don't worry Sir/Madam I'll get that" Clean it up and say "Thank you". they would of course wear pink Hi-Viz with the words PLOP PICKER emblazoned across the shoulders.

This idea I like.
 


cjd

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2006
6,069
La Rochelle
People who drop used chewing gum or cigarette butts, or who do not pick up what their dogs leave behind, should be lined up against a wall and mercilessly strafed with machine gun bullets until they are nothing more than a lifeless mass of blubber and blood.

Or have I not got the hang of this?

I think you,re getting there....maybe a tad too lenient....?
 




rool

Well-known member
Jul 10, 2003
6,031
People who let their dogs foul in public and don't clean it up should be made to stand warden in parks and on streets and when they see a dog haveing an eartha be made to step in and say to the owner "Don't worry Sir/Madam I'll get that" Clean it up and say "Thank you". they would of course wear pink Hi-Viz with the words PLOP PICKER emblazoned across the shoulders.

They should get their noses rubbed in it first and then made to clear it up
 




happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
7,935
Eastbourne
There should be a "drinking license". Anyone caught being a twat when under the influence shall be banned from drinking for a specified period.
 






Meade's Ball

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,612
Hither (sometimes Thither)
Cyclists who charge through red lights have to cycle for a week on the back seat of a tandem with the man in the driving seat being deaf, therefore not being able to listen to instructions of direction, and with a huge poop in his nappy that pongs the carefree criminal into a life or purity and goodwill. The nappy will be emptied hourly, with a new plop inserted to retain the steaming freshness and newness to it to antagonise different sections of the olfactory canal of the crook.
 




smeariestbat

New member
May 5, 2012
1,731
People who let their dogs foul in public and don't clean it up should be made to stand warden in parks and on streets and when they see a dog haveing an eartha be made to step in and say to the owner "Don't worry Sir/Madam I'll get that" Clean it up and say "Thank you". they would of course wear pink Hi-Viz with the words PLOP PICKER emblazoned across the shoulders.

actually brilliant.
 



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