A thread full of jokes

T

Turkey

Well-known member

Jul 4, 2003

15,568

• Jul 8, 2003

• #1

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?











































He lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog.

 

D

DTES

Well-known member

Jul 7, 2003

6,022

London

• Jul 8, 2003

• #2

Jack and Jill, went up the hill,
So Jack could lick Jill's fanny.
Jack got a shock, and a mouth full of cock,
Coz Jill's a f***ing tranny.

 

D

DTES

Well-known member

Jul 7, 2003

6,022

London

• Jul 8, 2003

• #3

Lawyer: "You can't divorce Minnie Mouse because she has big teeth!!"

Mickey Mouse: "I didn't say she had big teeth. I said she was f***ing goofy..."






Old ones are the best.

 

T

Turkey

Well-known member

Jul 4, 2003

15,568

• Jul 8, 2003

• Thread starter
• #4

 

J

JEM

New member

Jul 5, 2003

686

Bevendean

• Jul 8, 2003

• #5

Me: Do you know the difference between a blow job and a corned beef sandwich?

Heather Graham: No.

Me: Good. Come 'round tomorrow for lunch.

 

Biscuit

Native Creative

Jul 8, 2003

22,215

Brighton

• Jul 8, 2003

• #6

Q. Why are 'Nice' biscuits called that?

A. I don't know because they are possibly one of the nastiest biscuits ever, perhaps its sarcasm.

 

L

Legend

Prince Of Darkness

Jul 5, 2003

1,612

Lancing

• Jul 8, 2003

• #7

Clubbers in Yorkshire have taken to using Dental Syringes to inject ecstacy directly into their mouths.......This dangerous practice is known as "E" by Gum ........

 

L

Legend

Prince Of Darkness

Jul 5, 2003

1,612

Lancing

• Jul 8, 2003

• #8

A man goes up to a woman in a night club and says "The names Bond"
She says "Not James Bond ?"
He says "No.Unibond,I'm here to fill your crack"

 

S

Shizuoka Dolphin

NSC M0DERATOR

Jul 8, 2003

6,987

N/A

• Oct 17, 2003

• #9

What's black and white and read all over? A newspaper.


Good thread this!

 

S

Safeway

M0DERAT0R

Jul 5, 2003

14,637

NOT The Amex if we don't have SKY DANCERS

• Oct 17, 2003

• #10

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
















A: A cloud!!!!!!!

f*** me, the fun never ends.

 

S

Shizuoka Dolphin

NSC M0DERATOR

Jul 8, 2003

6,987

N/A

• Oct 17, 2003

• #11

Q: What do eskimoes use for money?












A: Ice lolly.


It's the way I tell 'em.

 

S

Safeway

M0DERAT0R

Jul 5, 2003

14,637

NOT The Amex if we don't have SKY DANCERS

• Oct 17, 2003

• #12

Q: How do you know when your sister's started her period?
















A: Your dad's cock tastes funny.

NSC Gold for sure.

 

S

Shizuoka Dolphin

NSC M0DERATOR

Jul 8, 2003

6,987

N/A

• Oct 17, 2003

• #13

Here's a seasonal jape to warm you up this evening:

Q: What's Father Christmas's wife called?











A: Mary Christmas. (Merry Christmas)


Anyone else got any jokes for this thread full of jokes?

 

M

Marc

New member

Jul 6, 2003

25,267

• Oct 17, 2003

• #14

What do you get with a BMX in your pants?















SKIDS!

 

S

Safeway

M0DERAT0R

Jul 5, 2003

14,637

NOT The Amex if we don't have SKY DANCERS

• Oct 17, 2003

• #15

Another yuletide cracker:

Q: What have Santa Claus and Michael Jackson got in common?










A: They both enter young boys' rooms and empty their sacks.

Hand me a needle and thread cos my sides have split.

 

K

Kenhead

New member

Oct 1, 2003

7,054

Brighton

• Oct 17, 2003

• #16

Police in France have discovered the dead body of
Sophie Ellis Bexter in a French International
footballers hotel room.

Few details have been released but ........


Police are treating it as murder on Zidane's floor.

 

N

north stand falmer

Banned

Jul 5, 2003

1,235

Manchester.

• Oct 17, 2003

• #17

Q: Why does it take David Beckham two hours to drink a glass of orange squash ?

A: The label says 'Concentrate'

 

N

north stand falmer

Banned

Jul 5, 2003

1,235

Manchester.

• Oct 17, 2003

• #18

Q: Why did David Beckham get so excited when he finished his jigsaw after just 3 weeks?





















A: The box said '2-4 years'

 

Bwian

Kiss my (_!_)

Jul 14, 2003

15,898

• Oct 17, 2003

• #19

A woman always has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

N

north stand falmer

Banned

Jul 5, 2003

1,235

Manchester.

• Oct 18, 2003

• #20

Brooklyn is asking his mum what certain words mean. 'whats the opposite of joy mum ? he asks. she says:'it's sadness Brooklyn.' He replies: ''And what's the opposite of anger ? she says: ''well that's.................happiness.' Brooklyn says: ''right, and what's the opposite of woe ?' David interrrupts: ''Hey I think I know this one......Is it giddy up ?''