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-North Stand Chat
+--Forum: NSC Gold
+---Topic: Nursery Rhyme started by Simon
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Posted by: Simon on Feb. 06 2003,19:27

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
to fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down, and broke his crown,
and somehow Kitson also got hurt in the incident.
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Posted by: P.C. Beard on Feb. 06 2003,21:05

LMFAO
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Posted by: Icy Gull on Feb. 06 2003,21:43

Two little seagulls
Went to Walsall
One named Chippie
The other named Paul.
Injured Chippie
Injured Paul.
Come back Chippie
No chance Paul


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Posted by: H block on Feb. 06 2003,22:37

Old Macdonald was dislexic................ I E O U E.
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Posted by: Tooting Gull on Feb. 07 2003,00:40

(To the tune of Pop goes the weasel)

Two promotions on the spin,
All to much elation,
Knight appointed Hinshelwood,
Oops, relegation.
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Posted by: METAL MICKY on Feb. 07 2003,10:04



---------------------QUOTE BEGIN-------------------
Old Macdonald was dislexic................ I E O U E.
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


But perhaps he could spell eh!
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Posted by: FG Trooper on Feb. 07 2003,10:13

Dick Knight had a little lamb
its fleece was white and blew
and everywear that silent went the
lamb was sure to go

He followed him to board meetings
which didnt break no rules
it made the press laugh and stay
to sea Coppell he aint cool

And sow the press turned out
and silent lingered near
and waited patiently about
till Coppell disappeared

Why do you love Coppell so
the eager press asked
He's palace threw and threw
like me my boys thats why
I love hyme sow
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Posted by: Simster on Feb. 07 2003,10:14

Top stuff Simon.

Guy Butters, pudding and pie,
Signed a contract then didn't try
When the boys came out to play
Paul Kitson stubbed his toe when signing an autograph in the warm-up and was out for another 6 weeks
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Posted by: Everest on Feb. 07 2003,10:33

1/2 ton of twopenny rice
1/2 ton of treacle
That's where Butters wages go
Pop goes the weasle.
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Posted by: P.C. Beard on Feb. 07 2003,10:37

Roses are red,
Butters is fat,
Piss off Kitson,
You lazy ****!


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Posted by: Everest on Feb. 07 2003,10:53

Humpty Butters sat on a wall
Humpty Butters had a great fall
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Hadn't a hope in hells chance of picking him up again.
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Posted by: Everest on Feb. 07 2003,11:01

Round and round Ninian Park
They expected a lap of honour
One step, two step,
Hold on, they lost, ha ha
_

Rub-a-dub-dub
One man in a tub
(it was Butters, so the other 2 couldn't get in)
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Posted by: Simster on Feb. 07 2003,11:12

This old man, he played one,
And that was it. What a ****ing waste of money.
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Posted by: Tooting Gull on Feb. 07 2003,11:32

Ten green bottles, hanging on the wall,
Ten green bottles, hanging on the wall,
And if one green bottle should accidentally fall....
Then its a stone-cold, nailed-on certainty that Kitson would get some glass in his foot.
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Posted by: Highfields Seagull on Feb. 07 2003,11:49

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds, baked in a pie,
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing
Now wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the King

Dick Knight was in the counting house, counting out his money
Guy Butters was in the parlour, eating bread and honey, and burgers, and greasy fry ups, and chips, and the blackbird pie
Kitson was in the garden, hanging out the clothes,
When down came a blackbird and pecked off his nose, causing another six weeks on the injury list
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Posted by: ChapmansThe Saviour on Feb. 07 2003,11:57

A ring a ring of roses,
a pocket full of posies,
a tissue, a tissue,
Kitson pulls his hamstring the ****.


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Posted by: Simster on Feb. 07 2003,12:07

Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
Knees and toes.
Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
Knees and toes.
All completely ****ed, and it shows.
Why we signed him no-one knows,
No-one knows
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Posted by: Simster on Feb. 07 2003,12:11

Top thread.

Hardly any changes required for this one - it's already about right:

Itís raining, Itís pouring,
Kitson is snoring;
He went to bed,
And bumped his head,
And couldnít get up in the morning - for the next 8 months.
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Posted by: Gluteus Maximus on Feb. 07 2003,12:20

Porky Butters pudding and pie
Kissed Kitson and made him cry
When the lads came out to train
Kitson collapsed with a hamstring strain
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Posted by: Mental Lental on Feb. 07 2003,12:23

Pat - a - cake, pat - a - cake Butters' Nan,
Bake him a cake as fast as you can,
Pat it and prick it and mark it with B,
And put it in the oven for baby and Kitson so he can burn the tips of his delicate little fingers trying to take it out thus being off for another 6 weeks.
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Posted by: P.C. Beard on Feb. 07 2003,12:40

Baa, baa, Butters,
Have you any Pie?
Yes sir, yes sir,
A large stomach full;
One for the master,
And one for the dame,
And one for Paul Kitson
Who injured himself straining his arm whilst picking up his pay packet thus causing 10 more weeks on the sidelines.
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Posted by: pavilionaire on Feb. 07 2003,13:47

Hey diddle diddle
It's a huge wages fiddle
Butters tries to jump over the moon

And bangs into Cullip on the way...allowing Stoke an easy goal

Kitson laughed to see such fun
The bitch fell and was out 'til June.
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Posted by: FG Trooper on Feb. 07 2003,13:56

just wanted two say sum absolute classics on here hope ewe all enjoyed mine!
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Posted by: Easy 10 on Feb. 07 2003,14:12

Mr Kitson, to the tune of "Three Blind Mice" (well, roughly).

Hamstrings gone,
Hamstrings gone,
See I can't run,
See I can't run,
I went to Walsall and ran on the pitch,
My hamstring went twang, isn't life such a bitch,
Now I'm out for six weeks and I'm getting a stitch,
From laughing at you twats for signing me in the first place you bunch of gullible muppets,
Hamstrings gone.

(this thread is a prime candidate for NSC Gold - some absolute beauties, so many talented Seagulls fans !)
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Posted by: Superphil on Feb. 07 2003,14:18

I hope we don't have to sing this come Christmas time!


Away in a Manger
No crib for a bed
The little Paul Kitson
sat up and bumped his head

The cakes in the bakers
were sent to Guys house
Where little lord Butters
Was stuck in the bath


They're crap but I just had to add one, this is the best thread since "please stay off the pitch at the end so Sam and the lads....."

Even FG's contributions are witty.
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Posted by: Simon on Feb. 07 2003,14:22

Hickory, dickory, dock.
Kitson pulled up his sock.
Then he fell down, and said with a frown,
Im out for a month with a knock.
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Posted by: METAL MICKY on Feb. 07 2003,14:26

Eency weency Kitson climbed up the water spout,
down came the rain and washed the Kitson out,
out came the sun and dried up all the rain,
now eency-weency Kitson has a hamstring strain!

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean,
And all because that ******* Butters had licked the platter clean
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Posted by: Superphil on Feb. 07 2003,14:30

It's not mine, but it is excellent

Posh spice is a slapper,
She really gets a fit on
cos when shes shagging beckham
she's injuring paul kitson
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Posted by: Easy 10 on Feb. 07 2003,14:40

Not bad Superphil, but the stuff on this thread has quite frankly pissed all over the 'Posh Spice' rhymes.
I've read it 3 times now and people in the office are looking at me funny cos I keep snorting like a stuck irish pig.
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Posted by: Superphil on Feb. 07 2003,14:44

Totally agree 10, it really is the funniest thing I've read in ages, best try another....

Baa baa Kitson
Have you any games
yes sir, yes sir, monopoly and charades
Once played football
but I didn't get the ball
so I took all their money
and then took a little fall.
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Posted by: Icy Gull on Feb. 07 2003,15:12

This Judas Sidwell went to Reading
This ginger Kerry stayed at home
This lardy Butters ate all the roast beef
This little Nathan got none
and that little skiver Kitson cried "ouch ouch"
I'm injured again" and limped all the way home
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Posted by: Simster on Feb. 07 2003,15:18

Kitson Kitson, little star,
How I wonder who you are?
Never seen - like big fat Guy,
(king of eating cakes and pie)
Kitson Kitson, little star
How I wonder who you are?
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Posted by: Easy 10 on Feb. 07 2003,15:21

To 'Londons Burning'...

Kitsons injured, Kitsons injured
Fetch the doctor, fetch the doctor
Pain Pain !! Pain Pain !!
Fill his wallet, fill his wallet
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Posted by: pasty on Feb. 07 2003,15:28

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty dumpty had a great fall
All the Kings horses and all the Kings men
Ran over Paul Kitson - He's injured again.
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Posted by: Simster on Feb. 07 2003,15:28

There are at least a dozen top drawer efforts on here that have had me in bits. And thanks to Everest, personally I will be referring to Guy Butters from now on as "Humpty Butters".
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Posted by: Superphil on Feb. 07 2003,15:30

Paul & Guy went up the hill to fetch a load of money
Paul fell down and broke his crown
and Guy came chundering after
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Posted by: P.C. Beard on Feb. 07 2003,15:34

Rock a bye Butters in the pie shop,
When the scales brake,
Butters will rock,
When Butters falls the ground will shake,
Down will come Butters and injure Kitson for a further seven weeks.

By the way this thread is pure NSC Gold.
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Posted by: Easy 10 on Feb. 07 2003,15:37

To the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"

My back is all battered and crumpled
My hamstrings they hang by a thread
My ankle is painful and swollen
In fact I think I'm almost dead

Bring back, bring back
Bring back that contract to me, to me
Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back that contract to me

I know I've not done much this season
I just cannot get off this bed
I think I'll just lie here this morning
And watch some more Trisha instead

Bring back, bring back
Bring back that two grand to me, to me
Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back that two grand to me

The Albion fans they all hate me
They think I'm just here for the dough
I just can't be arsed to be healthy
Whoops now I've just stubbed my big toe

6 weeks, 6 weeks
Another 6 weeks with the physio
6 weeks, 6 weeks
Another 6 weeks what a blow.
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Posted by: Titanic on Feb. 07 2003,15:38

Christmas has gone
Butters has got fat
Kitson's still injured
there's no surprise in that !
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Posted by: Gluteus Maximus on Feb. 07 2003,15:46

Old lardy Butters went to the cupboard
To fetch himself 5 pies
When he got there
The cupboard was bare
But it made sod all difference to his size.
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Posted by: pasty on Feb. 07 2003,15:55

Eency weency Butters, you must be 'avin a laugh
Kitson hurt 'imself, falling out the bath
Along came contracts, they both said YAY
Now I get paid for not having to play
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Posted by: Mental Lental on Feb. 07 2003,16:27

To the tune of Lord of the Dance:

Kitson has got a dodgy knee,
I can't believe he has an injury,
He knocked it on the fridge while fetching Butters tea,
He's out for rest of 2003.
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Posted by: Simon on Feb. 07 2003,16:51

Who's that lying on the stretcher?
Who's that who is never fit?
It is Kitson I'm afraid,
and no effort he has made,
he really is a useless lump of shit.
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Posted by: Titanic on Feb. 07 2003,17:04

Bobby needs a partner
Paul Kitson - strong and wily
the bugger of it all is
he's as fit a Lisa Riley


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Posted by: Mental Lental on Feb. 07 2003,17:17

To the tune of Nellie the Elephant:

Oh Butters the elephant packed his trunk and came to play for the Seagulls,
He ate his way through 10 pies a day,
Chomp, chomp, chomp.
The players laughed when he tried to run and jump up high for a header,
They heard a sound as he bounced out the ground....
Help,
Help,
HELP!
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Posted by: Fat Boys Limb on Feb. 07 2003,18:19

To the the tune of 'Puff the Magic Dragon'.

Duff the Tragic Kitson was sent to the sea,
To play for the albion
Now he's history!
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Posted by: rool on Feb. 07 2003,18:40

Oh dear what can the matter be
Stevie said that I must play saturday
but I think i've got a new injury
somebody pass me a chair

they promised a package with plenty of money,
a medical passed by a fully trained monkey,
but they didn't see I'm a knackered old donkey
nobody said life was fair


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Posted by: Stumpy Tim on Feb. 08 2003,07:51

Wee Willie Kitson
Hobbles through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs
He keeps falling down.
Rapping at the windows,
Crying through the lock,
Too lazy to play football
And his wages have been docked
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Posted by: Stumpy Tim on Feb. 08 2003,07:57

Apologies for being late on such a classic thread!

Hickory, dickory, dock,
Kitson pulled up his socks
The clock struck three,
Kitson fell down!
Hickory, dickory, dock.

Dickery, dickery, dare,
The ball is in the air.
The fat centre-half
Was on the subs bench!
Dickery, dickery, dare.
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Posted by: Stumpy Tim on Feb. 08 2003,08:05

One, two, three, four, five,
Once I signed a kitson alive.
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
Then he never played again.

Why don't we let him go?
Because we are desperate so.
Will he ever get on the pitch?
No chance, the son of a bitch.
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Posted by: Kitson's Chiropractor on Feb. 08 2003,08:40

Brilliant thread.
Some really great ryhmes. Got me pissing myself here.
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Posted by: P.C. Beard on Feb. 08 2003,08:45

Three sons
There was an old woman who had three sons,
Paul, Guy and Martin;
Guy was fat, Paul was lazy,
Martin was crap and relegated us;
And that was the end as Dick sacked all three of the useless twats, (Hopefully)
Paul, Guy and Martin.
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Posted by: Icy Gull on Feb. 08 2003,09:25

"who are ya" Kitson went
to Withdean
in a shower of rain
he stepped in a puddle
right up to his ankle
and tweaked his hamstring again
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Posted by: Tooting Gull on Feb. 08 2003,12:00

Halfway up the stairs, is the stair where Paul sits,
There isn't any other stair quite like it,
It's not at the bottom...
Although that's precisely where the idle, overpaid striker finishes when he loses his footing. Another six weeks out.
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Posted by: Tooting Gull on Feb. 08 2003,12:06

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy went...."Jesus, my ****ing hamstring." Two months in the treatment room.
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Posted by: Stumpy Tim on Feb. 08 2003,18:10

This one is for Wolves fans - to "Pop Goes The Weasel":

'Round and 'round the Wolves team
The Albion chased the Wolves
The Albion thought 'twas all in fun
Pop! Goes promotion

A penny for the Albion team
Ten million for the Wolves,
That's the way the money goes,
Pop! Goes promotion

A half a pound of Zamora's goal,
A half a pound of Brooker
Mix it up and make it nice,
Pop! Goes promotion

Up and down the motorways
In and out of the South,
That's the way the money goes,
Pop! Goes promotion

I've no time to laugh and laugh,
I've no time to giggle
Kiss me quick and then I'm gone
Pop! Goes promotion
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Posted by: Stumpy Tim on Feb. 08 2003,18:14

And again. God I'm bored!!

The itsy bitsy Northeners
Crawled down the A23
They had not enough tickets
So watched from the trees

Out came the Albion
And thumped the poor Wolves
And the itsy bitsy Northerners
Proved they have no balls
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Posted by: ALBION EDD on Feb. 08 2003,20:00

If you go down in the woods today,
you won't get big surprise,
Guy Butters will be sitting there,
eating all the pies.
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Posted by: Stumpy Tim on Feb. 10 2003,10:56

boing
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Posted by: Simon on Feb. 10 2003,11:00

Hickory, Dickory, Dock,
John Gregory is a big cock.
Sent off again
I'm gagging for when
Someone knocks off the smug ********s block.
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Posted by: Tooting Gull on Feb. 10 2003,11:18

There was a crooked Paul,
Who walked a crooked mile,
And found a crooked sixpence,
Against a crooked stile...

..and very unluckily fell awkwardly while clambering over it. Twisted knee, more time off.
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Posted by: Stumpy Tim on Feb. 10 2003,11:24

Pussy Paul, Pussy Paul, where have you been?
I've been to the physio to get my hamstring seen.

Pussy Paul, Pussy Paul, what did you there?
I picked up my wage packet, which doesn't seem fair.
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Posted by: Tooting Gull on Feb. 10 2003,11:34

Wee Willie Kitson,
Runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs,
In his night gown.

Diagnosis: Hypothermia. No football for you for a while, sonny.
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Posted by: pavilionaire on Feb. 10 2003,11:41

Four and twenty blackbirds
Baked in a pie
"That sounds bad" said Butters
But it might be alright with some mushy peas, chips, some fried bread and plenty of ketchup...
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Posted by: Simster on Feb. 10 2003,11:55

Round around the pitch
Like a football player.
One step, two step.
Nope, the hamstring's gone - it's another day in bed for you Kitson, you useless prick.
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Posted by: pavilionaire on Feb. 10 2003,12:17

Sounds like we've done the nursery rhyme thing, so I'm extending it to songs from musicals, e.g.

Dough, a loaf, a female loaf
Ray, my favourite pizzaman
Mi, count 'em, 25 stones
Fart, especially after curry and a nan
So, what if I'm so ****ing fat
Lard, the medical says it isn't so,
Tea, a drink with jam and bread,
That will bring us back to Dough...
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Posted by: rool on Mar. 01 2003,09:33

save this thread
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Posted by: BigMouthSlim on Mar. 01 2003,14:50

Christmas is coming, Butters is getting fat
Please to put a penny in Kitsons hat;
If you haven't got a penny, a ha'penny will do,
if you haven't got a ha'penny,
Heíll be away to sponge off some other poor unsuspecting clubs fans.



(You can do the hands/finger movements to this one)

Here is Withdean, and here is the South Stand;
Open the turnstiles and here are the people.
Here is the Kitson going upstairs,
And here he is a-counting his dosh.
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Posted by: Leeds Seagull on Mar. 01 2003,16:41

Ride a cock-horse to Brightonby cross
To see a crocked Kitson, not playing of course
With rings on his fingers and splints on his toes
He won't be missed when he finally goes
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Posted by: Tooting Gull on Mar. 01 2003,16:56

Kitson put the kettle on,
Kitson put the kettle on,
Kitson out the kettle on,
We'll all have tea.

Well, after a trip to the serious burns unit. Very nasty, six weeks out.
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Posted by: garry nelsons left foot on Mar. 01 2003,19:03

a-ring-a-ring-a roses
a pocketful of poses
a tissue a tissue
oh **** it! kitsons caught the black death.
That'll be him out for the season then.
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Posted by: Gluteus Maximus on Mar. 01 2003,20:10

Enormous Guy Butters
Sat in the corner
Eating steak and kidney pies
He stuck in his tongue
And swallowed them in one
And said "waiter I'll have five more with some fries"
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Posted by: Wienergull on Mar. 01 2003,21:49

Kitson's Lament

Toeses, toeses, black and blue toeses
And who gave you black and blue toeses?
Norman Whiteside and Remi Moses
That's who gave me black and blue toeses

String, string, a tweaked hamstring
And who gave you a tweaked hamstring?
Sir Danny Cullip and Martin Ling
That's who gave me a tweaked hamstring

Schnozz, schnozz, a boxer's bent schnozz
And who gave you a boxer's bent schnozz?
Douglas Rougvie and Steve "My Lord" Foz
That's who gave me a boxer's bent schnozz

Fib, fib, a cleanly snapped fibia
And who gave you a cleanly snapped fibia?
Paul "The Tank" Clark and Sami Hyypia
That's who gave me a cleanly snapped fibia

Face, face, a smashed in face
And who gave you a smashed in face?
Hans "The Clog" Kraay and that Scouser Case
That's who gave me a smashed in face
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Posted by: Guest on Mar. 03 2003,12:03

Boing
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Posted by: Bozza on Mar. 07 2003,15:59

Found it, moved it as requested.
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