withdeanwombat
Well-known member
Bloke goes to the doctor with a strawberry stcking out of his bum.
The doctor says Don't worry,I've got some cream for that.
The doctor says Don't worry,I've got some cream for that.
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Rubbish Jokes
- Thread starter TSB
- Start date
TWOCHOICEStom
Well-known member
I went to the doctors with my missus the other day and he told me she either had syphilis or amnesia. "Eh? How can I tell which she's got?" I said. Doc replies: "Take her into town, leave her there and if she comes back, don't f*** her".
An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he was connected to Lord's cricket ground.
"How's it going?" he asked.
"Fine," came the answer, "We've got three out and hope to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck!"
"How's it going?" he asked.
"Fine," came the answer, "We've got three out and hope to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck!"
Garage_Doors
Originally the Swankers
Bloke went to the doctor and said doc, i got a cricket ball stuck up my arse, How that ? the doctor replied,
don't you f***ing start he said
don't you f***ing start he said
The Large One
Who's Next?
How much does a cockney pay for shampoo?
Pahn-ten.
Pahn-ten.
Seagullible
Super Keeper
what do you call an Essex girl with a runny nose?
full up
full up
franks brother
Well-known member
MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.
The next day, the man returns.
MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well... where is he?
MAN: He's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.
The next day the man returns.
CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?
MAN: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm... It's warm and moist! What is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.
The next day, the man returns.
MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well... where is he?
MAN: He's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.
The next day the man returns.
CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?
MAN: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm... It's warm and moist! What is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper
Seagullible
Super Keeper
two cows in a field. One cow says 'nice weather for this time of year'
The other replies 'bloody hell, a talking cow!'
The other replies 'bloody hell, a talking cow!'
otk
~(.)(.)~
A Texas oil billionaire has triplet sons
On their eighteenth birthdays, he asks them what they want for a present
Son one asks for a toy plane, so dad buys him American Airlines
Son two asks for a toy car, so dad buys him Chevrolet Motors
Son three asks for a cowboy outfit, so dad buys him...
Crystal Palace FC
On their eighteenth birthdays, he asks them what they want for a present
Son one asks for a toy plane, so dad buys him American Airlines
Son two asks for a toy car, so dad buys him Chevrolet Motors
Son three asks for a cowboy outfit, so dad buys him...
Crystal Palace FC
Garage_Doors
Originally the Swankers
Bill said to ben, flob ba lob bob lab a bob.
Ben said, if you really loved me you would swallow it
Ben said, if you really loved me you would swallow it
otk
~(.)(.)~
Two blokes working on a building site
One says to the other, 'Why have you got L and R on your boots?'
The other bloke says, 'Left and Right'.
First bloke thinks for a minute, then says, 'I wondered why my missus has got 'C and A' on her knickers....'
One says to the other, 'Why have you got L and R on your boots?'
The other bloke says, 'Left and Right'.
First bloke thinks for a minute, then says, 'I wondered why my missus has got 'C and A' on her knickers....'
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
Knock Knock
Come in!
Well, the specification was for "rubbish" jokes.
Come in!
Well, the specification was for "rubbish" jokes.
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
My dog's got no nose.
The vet was horrified.
The vet was horrified.
Son of a hillbilly
class 1 Gopher division
two peanuts were walking down the street.
one was assaulted...peanut
one was assaulted...peanut
