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    Details were released today for the star-studded Christmas Pantomime, which opens on December 7th at The Dome in Brighton. The pantomime is based on the famous Charles Dickens novel A Christmas Carol, and is called, simply, "Scrooge". The main cast of characters are as follows:

    Scrooge - Dick Knight
    Spirit of Christmas Past - Bill Archer
    Spirit of Christmas Present - Mark McGhee
    Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come - John Prescott
    Mr Cratchett - Martin Perry
    Tiny Tim - Ernest

    Directed by FG

    "If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with “Buy Some Players” on his lips should be boiled and buried with a stake of holly through his heart" - Dick Knight in "Scrooge"

    Another Christmas Eve has crept up on the rich old miser Dick Knight. While he hoards his vast fortune, revellers prepare for the most joyous day of the year, when Falmer will finally be granted. Bah ! Humbug ! That night, he’s visited by 3 spirits who take him on a journey of revelation - back to Divison One, to what could have been, and what still could be at the promised lands of Falmer. Will Knight take heed and defeat his demons ?

    Directed by world-reknowned stage director FG, "Scrooge" promises to take its audience on a fairytale trip through time, and has a strong moral message for all to follow. FG explains: "When I began casting for this project, there really was only one person I wanted in the lead roll of Scrooge, and that was Dick TIGHT, the chairman and despot dictator who is busily trying to destroy Brighton and Hove Albion. Potless Dick is well known for hoarding all his millions and feeding the football club on tiny scraps from his table, so he was absolutely ideal for this part". Frothing slightly as he spoke, FG went on "Knight is of course a deeply unpleasant and miserly person, which is proved by his glasses hanging on a chain. He's obsessed with his Falmer pipe-dream, and he says rude words sometimes. He was perfect".

    Martin Perry plays Mr Cratchett, Knights faithful employee. "Just a general dogsbody" said FG. "Brainless, follows everything Knight says, thinks he's important but his incredible incompetence brings the comic element to the stage, kind of like a Baldrick-type character. He's just as obsessed as Dick TIGHT about the pipe-dream".

    A forboding aura of menace and peril is exuded by Bill Archer, who plays the Spirit of Christmas Past, but FG became warmly animated when talking about the former Albion supremo. "He's a lovely man to work with, lovely" said FG. "For some reason, he only asked for £56.25p as his total fee. He's taken full control of all the finances for the whole thing, we havn't had to lift a finger to sort any of that out, he's kept it all to himself and said we can sort all that side of it out in the New Year. It was such a relief to have that burden taken out of my hands by such a trustworthy man, unlike Dick TIGHT, who would rob his own granny given half a chance".

    Mark McGhee plays the Spirit of Christmas Present, and FG didn't mince his words. "MAGOO as I like to call him, he's rubbish, clueless" said FG. "Best we could do at short notice unfortunately after someone else copped out. No-one can understand a bleeding word he is saying, the fat scottish FOOL, and he just drags the whole performance down. Potless DICK loves him of course, but then he would wouldn't he, they're a couple of nasty, miserly peas in a pod, them".

    The ample frame of John Prescott plays the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come, and FG is equally lukewarm about his performance. "He's a waste of time" said FG. "Just a lacky for Dick TIGHTS Falmer pipe-dreams. I put him in cloud cuckoo-land where he belongs for this".

    Then there was Tiny Tim Cratchett, played by Ernest. "He was just wonderful in the role" said FG. "Such a tragic character with his obvious deformity. His constant begging for Dick TIGHT to loosen the purse-strings is truley heartbreaking. He provides a constant, faint whine in the background that goes on and on and on throughout the whole pantomime. I was moved to tears by him, and how callously POTLESS Dick just ignores his pleading".

    The whole performances climaxes with an extravagant, lavish and moving rendition of "Silent KNIGHT" by the whole cast, which FG says "will just blow the audience away". Tickets are now available at the box office. Book now to avoid disappointment.
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