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Hold on; Great Smoky Mountains National Park is about 90 miles from Greenville, which, you'll agree, is not thought of as a great distance by Americans. Yes, the range is all part of the Appalachians, and the Smokies are part of the Blue Ridge Mountains which comprises a large part of the...

Fair enough. I stayed there for a month in '89, and was happy to leave. I suppose the proximity to the Smoky Mountains would be a plus, but the town seemed too full of Bob Jones's University types, and consequently rather dull.

Okay, I will bite. Why?