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Shop / counter assistants who ask: 1) "Do you want any bags today?". If I did I am more than capable of asking for them and the fact I have just plonked my opened rucksack on the counter probably suggests I don't. 2) Do you want to buy XXXX today?". I explain to them that I am a big boy now...

Absolutely. It has even infected Radio 4. Also, replies to a question with "Yes. No.". The professional sporting fraternity have gone large on that one. "Can I get". No you ****ing can't. The assistant will "get it". You stay this side of the counter. Incorrect use of apostrophes. Wasps...