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a little birdy has just told me you didnt even bother turning up for the game Mr Season Ticket Holder Sten.......i have ruled you out as a suspect.

i am getting the feeling some of you jokesters are really not getting the seriousness of this blatant theft/beer mugging

you sort of have a valid point but i didnt feel the need to have a pee until i had bought the pint. not sure its really fair to revolve your toilet activities around whether or not your pint may be pinched

some one else volunteered to drive this week,i only wanted one pint at £4.20......technically i have been robbed twice in a matter of minutes

I find your elongated story somewhat out of place......what are you hiding? (suspect no.4)

you are off the hook i doubt they make denim shorts in your size

Yes i did And im writing this still stuck in bloody Bennets field.......what is your point. (suspect no.3 emerges)

ive never seen DR cry.......but those grey hairs of his must be due for a moulting.

hmmm suspect no.2

makes note,.......suspect no.1

Dear :censored:head You utter utter :censored: I queued up for hours for that :censored:ing thing only for you to pinch it whilst my guard was down and going for a wizz what sort of :censored:wit are you,im sure during the week you rob pensioners of their war medals and shag your sister after...