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2 goals at home against the 171st ranked team, one of them scored by an opponent. 3 shots on target all game. Uninspiring. Insipid. Unimaginative. And that's just the manager.

So at half-time, England are 1-0 up at home against the 171st ranked team. Footballing behemoths currently ranked above Malta include Fiji, Cuba, Vanuatu, South Sudan and St Lucia. The biggest cheer was when a paper aeroplane landed on the pitch.

Yes, sorry about that. England to romp their way to the Euros with a tactical genius at the helm who's sought after by every Premier League chairman. *removes tongue from cheek*

Jordan Henderson is winning his 81st England cap. He's made 13 appearances for Al-Ettifaq this season who are seventh in the Saudi Pro League. :rolleyes: