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Was Oatway actually dyslexic anyway, or did he simply never learn to read? (Honest question)

It isn't patronising at all. Of course somebody's ability to read and write has an effect on their capacity to complete the written assesments required in taking the badges. Credit to Oatway for overcoming that.

Will Sunderland let Charlie write a hilarious column in their programme, do you think?

Exactly. They don't just hand these UEFA badges out like confetti. What are your footballing qualifications djfg?