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Barnes is no way an Audi. He is a Subaru Impreza. Effective, aggressive and better than it looks. Vaz Te has more flair about him, and a heavier price tag. Porsche Boxster?

It's exactly the same Tom. All you need to do is get someone to buy the Mini off you, for the price of the Aston Martin. Sorted.

How is what he was on a couple of years ago at his previous club, even remotely relevant? He is at West Ham. On Premiership wages. He's not going to settle for anything less, to come to us, just because he likes the seaside. Burnley are not going to offer us £2m for Ashley Barnes. The rumoured...

Not much difference in price? Are you mental? He'd cost way more, and would expect to be paid way more. WAY more.