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My uncle broke the Enigma Code. Machine. When I was in the police I found two African tribesmen dancing cheek to cheek in a saloon car. So I radioed in 'Zulu Zulu Tango Sierra'.

Just remembered the funniest [for me] moment of the night. He asked a student what they were studying at University and got the reply 'Sport'. After a short pause MJ said, 'Relax everybody - I'll handle this . . .'

Second time I've seen him. Second time I've come out remembering about three of his jokes. It also happened with Tim Vine. Almost too quick fire for me. If anybody was there please help me out so I can dazzle my colleagues with some at work tomorrow. I'll start with two: I've been diagnosed...