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They’re referring to the toilets.

I bet you play ‘Jump Around’ by House of Pain on a loop.

Well that sums up the difference to a ‘T’. The football that’s on offer dictates how English fans react. Continental fans have to be orchestrated into jumping up and down in unison or wave flags or set off pyros and so on, but with no relevance to the game itself. I would say that’s a case of...

I prefer the English version if you don’t mind. You know, the stiff upper lip jobs like beating Chelsea 4-1, or the last minute penalty against Man Utd 1-0 and 4-0 the season before. Oh, and the wins against Arsenal and Liverpool. The final minutes when we beat Marseille. I go to watch a game of...