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Ms Price lives out near the A24 these days. Handy.

No. He looks like a competent Championship defender at best to me, a poor man's Shane Duffy (who scores goals) if you will. No pace at all: I think he might get badly shown up in the Premier League.

I'll be honest: if I was hoping to date somebody on the sly, particularly somebody known to be of continual interest to the tabloid press, I probably wouldn't pick one who drives a luminous pink Range Rover with personalised plates on. Or at least ask her to get a taxi round. The same story...

A lot of double standards at play here. Sure, Katie Price has had plenty of well-documented relationships in life, but does she actually deserve to be branded a slapper for it, or to have comments made about the condition of her, er, downstairs area as a result? I seem to recall the likes of...