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"Alan? Get me the press office now. The game's off". "What do you mean, the game's off? The pitch looks absolutely fine" "It's off, we need to get the message out, and fast, before 15,000 fans turn up" "What on earth has happened? Has one of the stands fallen down? Dougie Freedman been taken...

I get that you had a pass as an SCFA member, but I still don't understand how there was even the slightest question of calling off a match because a random official from the local County FA wasn't there at a game which there was no requirement for one to be at. Furthermore, if you could have...

So, before you bothered to ask for a ticket, the game would have gone ahead anyway, But as soon as you asked for one and they said no, the game was suddenly in danger of being called off? That's a bit weird, don't you think? Does that mean tomorrow's match is in danger if we can't find space...