I'm sorry, but "In Gus We Trust" is nowhere near "Crystal Pulis" (or penis) in the scale of cringeworthiness. Not even close to one all. You're still in your own half.
Presume you'll want one of these too then? http://www.siriganesh.com/a_stonecarved.folder/cb_014.html
They seem to be extraordinarily expensive, mind. Imagine paying way over the odds for an inanimate, useless cock?
Though I suppose you could always loan it to Cardiff if it flopped that badly.
Knew you wouldn't let us down, Al :clap2:
As we were on the subject, I thought I'd quickly google the term (not on a work computer, obvs). Would you believe there genuinely is such a thing as a Crystal Phallus (or a Crystal Penis)?
Here's the link, Palace fans. On sale at the Selhurst shop...