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Mine broke when I read "bell end". Are they available on Amazon ?

I've always thought the way they read the headlines at the start of the news a bit annoying. Why don't they let a natural disaster pan out and let us make our OWN minds up.

I tried to avoid the result of the Royal Wedding.

Surely "wankpuffin" ? Wankpuffin. Noun A person who reports the final score of a football match with no consideration for those clinging onto the storyline of an episode of 1970s sitcom "The Likely Lads".

I totally disagree with you (and thought it was quite funny) but as you have introduced the word "wankpuffin" to the NSC lexicon I have absolutely no alternative but to score your post a perfect 10/10.