Downhill > Gownhill. Encased in frills, strapped in corsets and swishing their skirts, a load of B-list English actresses race each other down the slopes of diminishing career prospects. Who can convert a bit part in A BBC costume drama into a lucrative Hollywood franchise movie, like...
Aussie Rules Football > Aussie Mules Football. A bunch of tight-shorted Antipodeans mount their donkeys and chase each other around Melbourne. First one who doesn't completely mangle the vowels in 'eeyore' wins.
Curling > Curding. With a vast pot of goats milk and a large wooden spatula at their disposal, can competitors stop their whey from going cheesier than a block of Gorgonzola?
Triathlon > Criathlon. A bunch of women try to watch kitten movies on YouTube without blubbing, last one to succumb wins.
Triathlon > Hiathlon. Young urban males compete to greet each other with complex handshakes and grunts. The most street version wins innit.
Triathlon > Piathlon...