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shut up:(

Subject: Dead Duck A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."...

Subject: Dead Duck A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."...

Liverpool manager sends scouts out round the World looking for a new striker to replace Emile Heskey and hopefully win Liverpool the title. One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So Gerard flies to Iraq to watch him and is...

I went to a Seafood disco last night. Got on the dance floor and pulled a mussel.............BOOM BOOM

and just in case you couldn't get enough.......... 2 sharks swimming in the Irish Sea. One says "I'm sick of mackerel" the other says "Me too, let's pop along to Morecambe and get some Chinese" :nono:

and more of the same (again, sorry..........) Went for a Chinese in Morecambe last night, but the queue was terrible - they were waiting for the chef to wash up.

Bad taste Police have named six of the Morecombe bay victims; Way Ding Sin King Drow Ning Leff Too Dy Fuk Its Cold Ty Dis Hi

good ol' Essex girls An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise." ***** Essex Girl enters a...

TOPICAL JOKE!!! A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "we have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for one whole month. The couple agreed and after two and a half weeks returned to the church. When the pastor ushers them into his...

BEST thread EVER!!!!! Just been reading (nearly) the whole thing!! I was on fire on page 7!!! :clap2: :clap2: Well while I'm here: how does bob marley like his doughnuts............with jam in how do the rest of the whalers like thier doughnuts........ me don't know but me hopes they like...

Quick mods send it to the joke thread!

:( oops. bon de touch bon de touch, tute j'doure :rolleyes:

YEY!!!! well done the mods, the mods the mods the mods!!! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: WHAT DOES A RUSSIAN USE TO WIPE HIS MOUTH? A SOVIET! :) bon de touche

oh I thought this thread said what makes a 10/10 joke? Like the time I entered the Argus caption competition. I sent in 10 efforts to win but no pun in-ten-did. ..............sorry

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to family in Spain, they name im Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also...

back by popular demand :dunce:

you can shut up too chappers. good joke though, what?

:salute: to you mr lemon. At least I don't KNEAD to wear medicated hair cream and I don't have to hide everytime the sun comes out you albino super-stud

FFS! am I spelling it right? "needed" as in needing dough with his hands! Stuff you lot I think it's funny :( :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: In fact its the bestest joke ever!