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Keep it in the fridge?

You must have clicked on the 'check cupboard contents' app by accident. I don't keep eggs in the fridge.

Cheese for the wife's lunchtime sandwiches tomorrow. I did think about winging it: "Special treat for lunch tomorrow dear: diet cheese sandwich." "What's a 'diet cheese sandwich'?" "Two slices of bread." Then I realised I valued my testicles and put my coat back on.

I went to the supermarket a couple of hours ago and when I got home I realised I'd forgotten to get one item. I've just been back to the shop and got it. True story.