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According to the bookies, we're more likely to finish top 6 than Spurs (and Villa)

You should email him that as a reminder, if it were to get that far. Oh, ignore that:

If the luck we're due this season all arrives in that match, City will be down to 5 men before kickoff, and although rules state the match should be called off, the ref will demand we play it anyway and we'll get awarded a penalty every time our players raise their hands.

No it isn't. We've got to finish above Villa and Liverpool (or one of the others) to finish top 6. We're currently 50/50 to finish inside or outside the top 6. To win the cup we have to beat Utd and then the best team in Europe, so we're a 6/1 shot. So obviously it's much easier to do it via...