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Fixed

Untrue. Last year you said our crowds would fall after the first season, but they went up. Plastics.

Yet you know our squad well enough to declare that 7 of your players would walk into our starting 11, whereas you'd only take CMS and Bruno (and you'll have seen even less of Bruno than our other players)

Now that he's taken the job, I can imagine his first meeting with Parish, where he's told that his number one priority is to talk Zaha's price up. [Brizol accent]'Well I been amazed by the lad, best player in division by far. Unfortunately, it'll be difficult to turn down the £20m offers that...

I'd think Palace are bigger than Blackpool. Good work by Palace, got to change my bloody signature again. Going to a good scrap for bragging rights this season.

Parish is the new manager?

Exactly, just like that Zero troll that claims we're obsessed with them, while posting on our board again and again.

Can we all get in on this action?

Wow, annoyingly impressive.