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If on the off chance Blatter was assassinated, Fifa's response would totally misjudge the mood of the entire world. They would insist on black armbands and endless tributes. Everyone else would be doing a samba.

Nah, I'm well up for it, have been for weeks. Granted the play-offs have temporarily taken over for a bit, and obviously will continue to do so if we got to Wembley and then somehow got up. But the kids have been going the Pannini album, and a few things of their own about each country...