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Sorry Sir Lord B, but with due respect and much cap-doffing, that is arrant nonsense, I'd demand nothing less than to make the starting line-up. For I am left-footed.

Posed the question when the release date for the orange shirt was first announced and posing it again: would/could the club take any action if you turned up at the Amex pre-orange shirt release date wearing the orange shirt with all the club trimmings?

Curiouser and curiouser ???