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Snooker >> Spooker Table top ball and stick game played by civil servants in MI6. Boat Race >> Moat Race 16 oversized Americans representing Oxford and Cambridge row several laps round a castle, avoiding the MPs' duck house. Show jumping >> Shot jumping A return to the Cold War as East...

Wathcing Piers Morgan, Simon Cowell and Sepp Blatter try to reach the finishing tape first. National Hunt Racing >> you work it out...