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Blackadder: So, what are my chances? George: Well, I'd say you were about as guilty as a puppy sitting next to a pile of poo.

Queen: Lord Melchett has some bad news. Blackadder: Lord Melchett IS bad news, Ma'am. Blackadder: Aarrrgggghhh! What was I drinking last night? My head feels like there's a Frenchman livinig in it. Blackadder: Baldrick, if you don't tell him to go, I'll report him to the Bishop of Bath &...